argh! all my photos seems to disappear with the brand new year. i couldn't find the pictures i took with bestman ( the new name i gave for leslie and people )in the past few years. my dad deleted the picts i took in genting and kl with peishan they all , deleted my mayday videos picts. =( its so sad. i didn't even get to load those that he deleted.

when i was crazy trying to find the old pict out, i came across the folder darling. so many pictures of me and him. the memories just keep flowing back. its nice and from the pictures it gives me the feeling of our happiness at that point of time. pictures don't fake, its good as it takes away the bad memories i had for him. what should i do with those pictures? i couldn't bring myself to delete it and its hard for me to rename it. what's wrong man. i feel like uploading all of them and send it to him. or maybe just to my online photos portal. at least when i delete it i will hve a back up but what's the point of doing that? couldn't stop but stop by to read his blog. he seems to move on perfectly with this girl that he wish to spend every moment with and putting a smile to his face. i am happy for him but it seems that his still having prob with his inferiority. if he likes her, why is it so hard for him to just do smth to it. why must he put that dream to an end. i stop to wonder if that girl is christina because if its her, i can still never accept the fact that they are happy together. i hated her.

saw pictures of me when i was younger, perhaps its called the pre phobia of reaching 21, i feel that my smiles aren't that happy anymore and i am not that pretty! the way i dress, the environment changes. i really wish to wash all the pictures out but nowadays its so costly to wash them and to find an album to fit the thousand and thousand of pictures. if only someone could just steal my pictures and put them into album for me within a night's time.

each pictures tells a different story, just by looking at the pictures itself it really reminds me of the things that happen and the words that was said during the photoshoot. whether its ugly , cute or weird looking pictures, it just brings back good memories. =) i think this is why wedding pictures always looks nice because the couple shows their love during the photos. in the past people always tell me from the photo, it can say alot about the people, i had to admit it now.

ytd bestman came over to my place to bai nian and its fun to just really hang out with them. the past i blog and complain about the distance feeling its no longer presence after the not so freq meetings that we had. i know they all cared for me still . i was kinda worried when everyone in my family ask if they are not coming because they took quite long to come up. i was a little worried like will they bluff me for a sec. but its silly to think that way man. hahas. when they came i really smiled =) i think they will be my only grp of frens that will bond with my family. i am glad that effort made was there. we gambled alot, thanks yiyang munwei and caifa for giving me coins after they win. hahas. i felt like a little kid when they were playing coz yy was just like just take the coins and play nevermind de , yet during the game people like dunno bout my presence. i did this to little kids in my family too. hahas. but its good so i minimize my loses. hehe. i love the last part of the visiting every year - phototaking session.

went out with jerome just now after my piano lesson. don't know if my mood plays a part but this time round there's isnt the weirdness being out with him along once again. there's this celebration at chinatown for the 15th day of cny, fireworks display is the reason why i headed down. the environment today was more rara as compared to the lights opening ceremony if only they had it arranged like today. the music was great feels like chinese new year but what's the point of doing it when it seems like its going to end now. hahas. there was many mc and the one standing in front of me was great. everyone shouted huat very loudly and thereafter was the crackers and fireworks display. AWESOME!