19 Dec
Went to fei lun hai concert on the 19 of dec with sweeleng. forgot to mention this in the blog hahas. was being auntie.. sick yet she told me the ticket is free. it kinda a waste if i were to insist staying at home? nth special about their concert but when her parents send me home. its the weirdest thing. her dog was at the back seat. stupid sweeleng refuses to go into the car first, so i had to do it. its like the first time that i am having so close contact with a dog such that i can feel its heartbeat. but this dog is a good dog, he doesn't bark or move alot. but throughout the whole journey i was always on the high alert mode. hahas. anyway.. thanks swee leng =)

21 Dec
Its the big day for my family. the sisters group came over to my house on the 20 to settle some minor major stuff. didn't had much sleep because we were all expected to wake up at 5? things were much different in singapore. i thought that we didn't havem uch time to disturb hendra so i kinda ask the girls to hurry and make it simpler. whahas he should thanks me for that =) after that came all the tea ceremony and blahblah.. i think its all waste of time. the nicest thing about wedding is that the bride is pretty 24 hrs? all the clothes are like beautiful. i am not the model size for bridal gowns outfit. esp in length wise. suddenly thought that if i were to get married, my bf should be quite poor thing cause even shoes needs to be custom made? hahas.

dinner time was less lively than batam but it looks much grand than batam. i guess its the singaporean way of celebrating the wedding. my father side cousin was crazy to keep drinking as thou as drinks are free and the sorta got the attention they wanted. i wanna thanks joan and jerome a million times for sitting far away from me thanks to those errors people changing seats. thanks. and of cause those people who came for me =)

23 - 27 Dec
Merry xmas to all ! =)
went over to genting for xmas. that would mean that i will have no present. dunno y this year i don't have the feeling to shop for xmas nor expect people to give it to me. perhaps the recession influence. hahas. but xmas is an gift exchange time. so people who told me to do it, i have to get something for them. kelvin and deanne and of course, my beloved cousins and sister. actually didn't wanted to get for cousin ,but on the 27 dec, its kaikai bdae so everyone had to be there. i did a last min shopping for all. hahas

people asked me about the trip. its was great. =) the weather was cold on the first day, full of mist. i am glad we took millions pict that day because the subsequent days wasn't that misty after all. no gambling because most of us were underage. spend quite a lot. and realize that it was more on games and food. not really on my shopping stuff. everything in genting that has to be paid for to play, i think i did it. no theme parks for me. ah ~yea! the funnies and record setting for the whole grp of us was the first day. ever since we reach genting, it was eating waffles, chinese cusine, seafood, macdonald. we went from full to super full . the interval between all were like max 0.5 hr. except for macs thou. mac was supper. but half an hours is record breaking for all of us. crazy.i guess its the cold weather. we just feel full but not bloated.

there wasn't extra sparks with anyone. just bonding of friendship i guess. and i liked that =) pictures shall do their stories... =)

28 Dec
last day of wishing sphere! i made gd friends =)

29 Dec
met up with ferlin and kelvin. finally get to watch yes man. thanks kelvin for the xmas + bdae gift !



everyone seems to be sick around me. pls take care man. i think its the weather that is causing everyone health to be upside down. after being sick for the past 2 days, now and then i will feel very hungry. i guess its the medicine that cause me to be hungry? woke up today and zoom zoom here to get gown, alter gowns, get flower pack the house.. and help set up for dinner. finally. i was so hungry waiting for my mummy to be done. hahas.

looking at the carpark across my room, there's 4 nice car which look simliar to me and the way the park is the same way and there is like a synchronize movement with them. quite cute..

tmr is the big day. tha main prob is people not coming at last min notice. i think its very irresponsible. because each seat is an expense man. last min don't come, how do u expect us to find people to replace quickly? its embarassing to call people up and tell them hey the wedding is tmr , ure invited. its obvious that they are just there to substitute the empty seats? some people are just inconsiderate. i am very grateful to my friends who had confirm with me at first notice and had kept their promise till now. clara, joan, gekhui, munwei, choonleong and leslie thank you people =)



i guess till now only peishan knows the real reason why i change my blog link. i guess some people have this question in mind as well. i didn't want joshua to know anything else about me since he decided that his not able to be my friend anymore. i also didn't want any single contact with him. i also feel that my blog is everything about him. i want a new life new post everything. hopefully i won't be blogging anything about him. but thru this change of add thingy, i realize who are my freq readers too. hahas. thx for knowing what is going on with me. =) but u guys didn't an wei wo!

really thx peishan for calling me up the other night to ask me what happen to me and show concern towards me. i guess the rest was just to afriad to ask?

been sick since ytd. was sudden. woke up feeling uneasy all over, but there wasn't fever. so i went to work. but i felt worst so i decided to go home earlier in case, i m sick for my sister wedding that will be much more horrible. jerome drove me home, thanks. rested at home, but someohow my fever rose to 39 degree. but my back was aching like mad. went to sinseh first but it didn't feel better because the fever is making me giddy and painful everywhere. took a fever pill and sleep at home. fever subside but rise again after hrs. so my mummy brought me to western doc. fever was still at 38.5. doctor gave me injeection.. sob sob.. i hate and scare of needle. argh.. but was wondering what's wrong with me this year round. each time i had fever, needles seems to be a must, it doesn't subside with rest and pills.

doc says that it might be because i was having slight flu and throat pain yet i went for the adventure. but i never regret going for it ba. it was fun..

suppose to meet edward dickson and joewei ytd, but since i went back earlier, i missed the gathering. i want to see them soon! congrats to enter sispec and ocs unit =)

couldn't sleep, guess i sleep too much but i am still feeling weak and giddy. i think staring at the computer needs energy.

i don't need anyone to pamper me with sweet words right now, i just need to feel that the sincere and the care. sweet words just makes me feel disgusted like wth. i am sick yet u still say all those thing. bit irritating. i have no mood at all to process those long long sms. i am sry thou.



okies. enough of all the screaming shouting and lashing out on the blog. shall not have any of those in my blog anymore. i don't want to lose any other friend now. so to all my dearest friends, i am free.. DATE ME OUT! i can go anywhere. hahas. we can play everything.

worked at central the whole day with the new girl jade. she's my younger sister friend. she's a funny person la non stop talking. no matter what my respond is she can come out with different topic. hahs cutes.

went to alter the rom dress today and realize there isn't a need cause the size was loose now. but the other time at batam it was tight. guess i silm down or someone snatch my food. quarrel with that idiot over if dress is tight or stretchable, his seems to be saying that i am fat or just trying to pick a quarrel. he ended up saying" i also don't want argue with you" WTH. it cause me to be angry and upset coz joshua used to say that. its hurting because it seems like i am troublesome la. don't want talk to me. but well.. things are fine now. friends forever =)

finally found people to take over my morning shift on friday so that i wouldn't have to miss 4 classes. the rest i have no choice but to miss it cause i had promise to work and there isn't a subst.

heard over the radio that people that lives along the private houses, the house and street lights are nicely decorated, even nicer than orchard. i wanna drive down sixth ave to take a look at it! can someone drive me therE? hahas. we can cycle too.



don't say things that sounds like an idiot. all actions are changed with your language. everything i did, i meant well,it was real feeling. but now u can just everything also deny it and say it was guilt. i don't want to be your friend too! ass



i just need to show some ugly pict to make myself laff. wth so ugly..




many people is going on a holiday. perhaps because it recession so most people i know of went genting or are going genting and kl. kailin, kelvin, eugene,amy. wow! hahas most envy is choonleong - hk and korkor to turkey. gosh he went like eygpt sometime back. i had never been to this weird weird countries before. i hope that i will ever get to visit them. with my family. i wanna bring them around.

what do people do for new year countdown? i want to go for the mediacorp event at $18 , simply because at the floating platform the fireworks display would be much more obvious. do check that out! ~

finally confirmed the gowns to be worn on the wedding day hopefully i will look pretty =) whahas.. i need big hugs from my friends. today i msg some people that i used to be close like weiliang and kelvin and gene about my prob. i am glad they didn't ignore me or say smth like gosh u tok to me? coz that would really hurt. hahas.. think too much i guess. but greetings from frens once in a while is nice ..



i prayed that i can call out to stop everything as it is. i got my courage and told my mum to drive to his place without knowing where is it. i lie to him that i was in cab so that he wouldn't be stubborn and not tell me where the address is. i was glad that his out , that would mean that his able to walk. knowing that makes me feel better. not less guilty but happy for him. i wanna call out a hold to all this, why could a couple break up and end up this way. this is not a way that i would want it to be. never experience it before. no idea how to handle.

went up and face his dad, feeling a lil wei qu cause my mum was with me. she knows everything and i felt bad that she has to handle that situation too. she was like why he never answer ure phone, why why why was irritating that i had to tell her. she was rather upst with what people is saying about me. shouldn't have blurt it out of my mouth. her regards to u ..

but if things are going to get worst. i want it to stop right now. whatever that is happening, its just hurting both of us even more. this is ridiculous. do we have to resort to this to just make each other forget and move on. i believe there is a better way to help us move on. a happier ending. learn how to be friends..

i bought u the slippers, i don't know what way u will think of it. but its for xmas. that's all. i don't know if we will still be talking but don't let whatever it is affects the people around us.i don't know if it was stupid to do so, but i never think it was and i don't need to be reciprocrated. so don't think i am bullying u or making u feel guilty. hopefully not ure frens thought. i don't want anything about us to have them involved..



something nice to cheer myself up. i had a happy weekend! =) thou money is a issue this month cause of the trip but i am sure it will be nice.

on sat, thx to lucius hard work for 2 mths, the mi clique - lucius, mel, jes, weizhi, peishan, alicia, liying, jerome, shaowei, lidiyana and her bf i hope i spell correctly, went to forest adventure at bedok reservoir. i had never go on a adventure like flying fox and stuff before because i was always scare of heights. at first, we wanted to go against him by changing the prog to kbox cause this adventure was relatively no as exciting as those that the guys had tried in army.we thought we could cause it was raining, but in the end, the rain stopped. peishan didn't wanted to try so i thought ok, i shall pei her. but in the end, we still went up. and i glad i did. if not i don't think i will ever try such stuff in the rest of my life? i was happy i overcomed it. thou it wasn't very high, but it gives me a sense of acheivement.

it was different from outward bound acc. to the instructor there as its more of a DIY thingy. u have to be responsible for your ownself. there isn't people belaying u below.the mechanics things is quite wonderful. me and alicia, too small size the person was like this is the tightest i can go. but being a left hand person, it makes it hard for me to reach the hook that is like behind my back. hahas. the girls all have small heads, we used the child's helmet. there's like a lil warm up or training session so it sort of make me feel safer a bit. the instructor says that he will send people home if he thinks they cannot make it.i was glad i wasnt!hahas.

we were suppose to slot the guys in between the girls so that it would be easier for them to help out. one by one we cross the hurdle. i love flying fox! that's the only thing that i am not scare of. hahas and i can do it in peace. reason being its across the reservoir. so i guess the water makes me feel peaceful because i feel that i can swim. the only scary thing that i think i came across was this tree that is quite tall and we were suppose to jump off it to catch the net. it was quite a steep jump. but not as scary as roller coaster hahahs.

people who have not tried it should give it a try.

later on, everyone went to lucius house to bath except me and jerome. lucius and alicia drove so they drop us separately. after that we went to kovan and lucius came out to drove us into his house. gosh.. his rich. 3 cars. 3 nice beautiful cars. his house is still as nice as ever. and his very nice to really keep his dog out of reach from me and peisha. hahas. in the bbq session edwin, iskanda and 1 mre girl was there. thank you shaowei for bbq all the food for all of us. but it seems like all of us are quite tired because at the later part of the night there seems to be slight tension between conversation hahas. lucius!!! sry if any of us make u feel hard to go between u n ure gal.. i am supportive of u ! after that alicia drove me home. hahas. tired but was worth the day. i wanna such outing someday soon..

thx lucius for the effort.. really thankful.. i love everyone there so much. happy early xmas =) will upload the pict soon..



its my relationship. only me and my bf can judge me the rest just shhh.. kip ure words.advice will do but no need to keep repeating or instill your thoughts upon others. everyone should be supportive whenever your frens have a partner. whether the person is bad or not, as long as ure fren love them, u shud just be supportive. don't add oil to fire whenever they argue. because it really mean to break a loving couple up and take adv. of the situation. worst when u try to match them up with some other people when they take a break off the relation. hpm >.<

this is crappy! i am so angry that i just had to blog, but as i waited for this computer to load, i've cooled down. i came to my sense. i can't be bother about what people say behind my back because its not something within control and as long as i am clear concious , i should take it like a girl. joshua's fren jason foo! idiot , went to ask his camp mate if he knows me and later on, he bad mouth about me? saying i was bad and joshua is stupid. maybe poor thing i guess. but i mean, his a guy? come on i have not come across a guy that bad mouth a girl. his the first i guess. n worst is he knows me fren knew me, so what is he trying to pass the message across? allan msg me this at night and it gave me sleepless night. i was so eager to know what is it about that they say and most impt did allan help me speak up or did he go along with the crap. but right at this moment, i think its not impt about what he says or if allan believe me.. i didn't had the courage to know i guess. i didn't want to make it harder for me to be friend with joshua. n allan u piggy head! say i bully u. but i think i can trust u to filter information.

went to school today, first day of school again. realize my planning sux. i had 3 schoool days that clashes with my work schedule? i wonder how am i going to resolve it. trying to find people to help me take over some shift. after school went to buy slippers supposedly to find him.but i can't control myself today so i guess tmr will be better in case i say anything bad.

tired tired tired.. wedding preparation what has it got to do with me man? i shouldn't be inviting my friends. its hard to get their replies. but i understand cause they do not know my sister. but i don't have that many people that know my sister well? but i am glad my girls are supportive. =)i dunno how the wedding will turn out to be like but i hope that she will be enjoying it..

peace..

i know u and me both tried. and i am thankful that friends wasn't really the reason why we are like that. but the aftermath, i don't know. i hope to remain frens rather than stranger thou i know u don't remain frens with ure exs. but i think its diff with us.

meanie.



guess working hard is tiring especially with the cold weather. wanted to see the chinese doctor to get extra medicine but he said that i have slight asthma and gave me other medicine. have been feeling weaker this days but i thought that is the tiredness within me. i am tired but i am glad people around me understand what is it about and they showed enough concern for me. did msg walter to ask me about joshua but he says that it would be better if i had total no contact with him. it would be hurtful but its easier for him. maybe. i wanted him to pei me to find him to check on him. but he isn't free.

tmr i am going to the forest adventure with my MI clique. i dunno if its fun and i am scare that it would be scary. i don't want to fall down or back out at the last min because it is gona cost me 25 dollar. ! arghs. hahas but everyone is going, if i don't go i think i will be quite upset with myself for missing it too.

finally planned and book my holiday trip to genting plus kl le. many decision was change at every minute its hard to plan but well.. finally got it. will be going with peishan,stanley,jerome, and 3 peishan friends with my lil sister. there's been some tough times trying to plan out the prog and the money issue but i am glad that all my friends are nice ppl quite easy going makes it easier to plan =)



no matter how steadfast our love used to be, i don't understand why we ended up like this. i want us to be happy, regardless if we are friends or lover. i don't know if i should visit u. i want but i scare u say i fake again.

merry merrry go round..

cut my hair today with my sister, hopefully a new hair cuts makes a new different life. what can i do or say now to make things better for us to face each other.



after all the things u said how do u expect me to face you? how do u expect me to think nth happen. it has always been the case, u saying smth bad, then u say smth nice. i don't want to lead u on by visiting u yet i can't find a second person to pei me to visit u . guess i will just see you on the day of my sister wedding. i don't deny that i am happy with him. i am happy with anyone that does not drag their promises. i don't regret saying the nail things as bullshit because till now i have never gotten a bottle of it. my family dotes my exs like their own too. if u ever need them, u can always just give them a ring. they are not the mean kinda whom just leave you once we broke up. i believe my exs can prove that they are nice people. teach me now how to show u that i care. u don't want to be my friend, on what do i take to visit u ? the one person that indirectly cause ure injury?

its funny that i blog often whenever u had smth up at yours and the saddest thing is that its always bad stuff. you made me proud to think that u ever did try to accept uncle, if u are really not able to accept him as your 'dad" then just take him as ure mum's bf, as long as ure mum is happy i guess u will be too. i m not fit to comment anything else coz yes i will really never understand how is it like to have such family or the loneliness because i got a pair of sisters. but if u feel lonely, u've got your friends.. u could try sms-ing them to come and play with you? you don't have to be bothered about if their busy.. i m sure they will make it.



if u think that i am that kind of woman. so be it. i don't know what else to say to just make you better. things that i done is from my heart. u think its complicated, i can't blame you for that either. i just want to be your friend and that's that. i don't think at this point of time u ever bothered if there's still love from me. if u think tmr is the last time u wanna suffer whatever pain, i think u will be better off without having me faking my care for u. my presence should hurt u more. and whatever cut u deep, selfish, leading u on. any accusation from u i will just take it. i don't need those words from u every again.

to be back as friends or not will be your call man. i am not going to be as mean as u to say that u will be there but not forever. what i need is someone to be there even if they have someone else. i think that is what friends are for.

i had never taken u as a fling. flings arent' like that.

i am sorry your leg is hurt. i am sry i didn't wake up earlier today to visit u as i promised too( i remembered, not like stupid nail strengthener. bullshit ). but i glad i ddin't. becoz if i read ure post after i am back i dunno how hurt would i then be. i really am. for the last time i say it.i don't know how am i suppose to treat u from now on. even to visit u, will i be thrown out of it?

* but i hope u will draw the hatred line clearly and not take it upon my sister wedding



why is it so hard to just believe or convince someone that i care sincerely? must it be because i am guilty or because i pity them? ridiculous. i know how you feel for me. when i am nice to u, u say i lead u on and u don't want to be playing games with me. when i am less nicer to u, u say i didn't show enough concern and will a lil more kill me? NO it won't. it just that i dunno what are the boundaries that i should be having that will make u comfortable. treat u like a friend, you say you are not interested. i know u don't want just be my friend. u want to get back together. but the things that u say and do hurts me more. is this how u want to woo someone back ? i am sorry that my house piano hurt u but none of my family members including me pity u because of it. we cared. i dunno why u can ever think otherwise. kinda disappointing. if u don't want me to visit u or to company you to your appt, i shan't force u like how i did when we were together. obviously, after break up i can't possibly still be like last time being so thick skin and ask u to let me take care of u. but nevertheless, i will still be there to volunteer. but if u reject me, can you teach me what am i really suppose to do ?

everyone wants you well by the wedding.i've just been too busy with my exams and the wedding preparation. its just so short time. i tried my best to show u all my concern within my limit already. i know its not enough if you were to compare it with the past. i can do more. but what u say ytd i dunno what am i suppose to do now.

going clubbing tonight.sokpeng and joan pang seh! idioit them. hpmhpmhpm. ! but i sort of knew it that when i wake up there will be a few pang seh msg. this is the bad thing about dating girls out. hahaas. but nvm la. i understand! =))



i love my family hahas first time we all wear so nice