tinker*ting

2009-07-01T08:57:00.000-07:00

blog is so troublesome.. things written must be think twice . first was joshua den jerome n nw it seems tt more ppl will get upset w wad i write.. closed..

2009-06-22T23:22:00.000-07:00

AH! stupid projects.. wasting my time. n stupid E retarded! i dislike the feeling that someone is just nt happy because of me. gt a sudden feeling feel like reading joshua's blog. damn.. control! self control!

anw.. back from taiwan.. pictures are on facebook!

summarzing

2009-05-06T06:19:00.001-07:00

1. there's this idoitic cab uncle that i recall during my trip to bintan the other time. i came back with the guys that i went with for kappa event, we decided to cab to bedok to eat from tanah merah but he so suxky, chased us to hurry board the cab when we are in the cab q?~ den as we board we close the door however 1 of the guy haven't board he just drive off so we have to close the door. when we warn him to stop he scolded us then he say say nag nag don wan stop so i sae stop we don't need your cab as he says he don't need ppl like us. wth. ppl like us give him his daily money lor. idiotic.

2. joshua has gt his new baby gf the way he called her. i don't feel jealous because i know all guys are like that. but why.. why is it tt after break up ppl will tend to just praise the one that they are with? becoz he said that no one was with him when he is sick. but aya his always sick. whahhas.. since he sae i never was there then so be it.. as long as someone else appreciated me all along.

3. went movie with benson and guys for xmen. hugh jackmann if i spelt correctly is really manly. woo~ hahas.. wanted to ask jr and wl help me complete prinny but the prinny just didn't want to jump far far away.. argh! but gd news.. jr msg me today and told me how to jump the prinny.but the psp is with jerome now.. bugging him to help me cross the prinny like instantly..

4. told to e about my life more then the rest from my grp other than jerome and my girls, nice talking to him becoz he gave me views from v different perspective. maybe becoz his just different from the people i spoke to. thank you! u know who are u

5. gene help me found about bout intel job with spf. i had a interview with them on 15may. i dunno if i am ready to commit to a full time job now and study part time .. anyone some opinion for me? but i decided to just try out see what the job is like anyway its not like they definitely will want me.

6.i am going to learn my driving.. hahas..

7. i am begining to enjoy my piano lesson once again, hopefully it won't fail me this time round. this new teacher is nice because she helps rebuilding my confidence.

8.classes are getting much tougher because i don't know what is going on. the projects and assignments are all so depend on yourself thingy. she sets no dateline she don't bother going thru. and even if u submit they just briefly comment good or bad. never say what can be done. weird nor..

9.my family case is worrying enuff that i don't know what can i say here. siewfong wanna advice? hahahs..

10.my tummy is giving me hell prob everytime time.. medicine advise?

bad life

2009-04-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

hm..didn't had much time to blog. just surf online on some taiwan thingy. i kinda look forward to the trip getting my mind off the things that is happening in my family maybe a good thing after all. thanks to my enthu frens, delong call me up to prepare me for the trips telling me all the different places and we exchanged tips. i told him about hongkong. hahas. now that yy is in charge of booking the hotel, i kinda have a relief. hahas at the very least the people that i am going with do research on the places and they are not the kinda that are really going to chiong the places w/o knowing anything about it. shouldnt have got worried they are different from my ex. i think i am going to be safe. hahas. tianming oso just got back from taiwan, i was excited bout car motel. a carpark lot below your own room. how interesting can that be. if only i can get a picture of how it looks like.

everyone is just so going to taiwan..

got my piano result again. another reminder to me that i had failed and i better do somthing about it. lookin at the score i think i should have passed if i hadn't been that nervous. the weak part was my pieces. which is nt suppose to be the case. i got myself a new teacher. call it a new start. not like my ex teacher is bad. just that a new place new face will give me a fresh feeling about the songs. this teacher is more patient and she is supportive. she doesn't scream at me at the v least. she'll just encourage. hopefully this is her and not herself during the first lesson.

i got a big pimple!

2009-04-01T20:26:00.000-07:00

been long since i blog again. its a special day today because i am blogging while i am working at the atrium fair- Central level 1. i jut bought my breakfast from ya kun. wonder if its going to be delicious. its has been damn long since i am online to. after exam i work every day from 11-10pm by the time i am home i am too tired to mingle with people and chat online. at most i just check my mail and dooze off.

Good news for myself is i passed my basic theory test. hahas. first attempt. at least it shuts my family up that i cant passed. its going to be long for my next test. no $$! but nvm i am happy to just stop here too. exams result piano result all are not out i am worried. but its going to take about june for the results to be all released. and when they are.. its another round of exams.

went over to bintan for a photoshoot thingy with the other contestants during monday. bintan indeed is a nice place and its true that its only for relax because the sports are too excuse to try. but lucky us, we get to try archery played volley and pose with yatcht and water boarding if that is the name of the board. hahas.

i got a big pimple. i squeeze it. my bad. but its kinda cute la. hahas. i still think i am pretty. whaha!confidence lol.

there's this guy that has been there for me when i am stress this entire mth. big hug =)

2009-03-22T01:23:00.000-07:00

just played 2-3 hr of piano. fingers are hurting. but no one seems to understand that i need more practice in order for my pieces to be played better. they are always saying its bad for their ears, hurting their ears can i stop playing. its gives headache and stuff. its because of them that i think i didn't managed to take my exam last year. i cant afford to fail this time. i don't wish to be playing this peices for 2 years and retaking it in august. its going to torture me man. i also know if sounds nan ting but without proper practice environment how am i suppose to make it work. play while they are not home doesn't work ar. there bound to be someone at certain time. aRGH!

this week is going to be tough. stress. the piano exam tt i fear and the PI paper that i am totally not prepared. revision lesson on monday, i hope that it still gives me time to study since my piano is on wed and pi on thurs. never like to feeling of studying last min but i can't revise when i dunno anything about that module.

previously i send in my photos for some event and got selected, will be going to bintan and have photoshoot. was actually worried to let people know but after thinking through, it time for me to learn that its not the result that count, its the process to feel enjoyment. i may not be the best contestant there but at least its smth new in my life time. seen 2 male contestant, they are ok looking too so maybe the standard not so high but the girls are all quite gd i think. nt too sure, on tues will see some of them on on 30 will see more during the photoshoot. kinda like the idea of going to bintan because i've always wanted to go there! go wink wink at bintan ppl so next time go maybe nt discount. hahas.

ferlin bdae was last sat and she intro to me this guy that is woo-ing her. quite happy for her now. coz today she msg me and say that they were official le. CONGRATS =) hopefully that will be her prince charming to be.

the other time i was thinking of changing my class from full time to part time so that i can earn more money while i am still young. though people tell me that its going to be tough but i think that xin ku a while should be worth the while if i am thinking of long term. what should it be..

2009-03-11T23:37:00.000-07:00

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

how true it is, really depends. because i think the question are vague and not practical. however.. somehow it did trick me to believe what it says. hahas

Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

i am alive

2009-03-02T07:03:00.000-08:00

didn't know what to blog. hm..but there's alot of thing happening from feb to mar. if i do owe pictures, just get it from me straight. too much to upload! oh shit.. i just realize that no one plan to celebrate yiyang bdae? there's no present mention too? what happen.? or am i not inform. hmm.. leslie present also haven't buy. i am so broke.. i need more stable jobs. esplanade is too flexible.

the best way to handle stress- swimming. it works for me.

Happy bdae leslie
happy bdae yiyang
happy bdae enen
happy bdae JR!
happy bdae lixin
happy bdae kailin
happy bdae gary
happy bdae ferlin
happy bdae hanlin
happy bdae stanford
happy bdae siewfong
happy bdae sindy
happy bdae hengheng
happy bdae uncle
happy bdae auntie
happy valentine's day
happy bdae xinle
farewell lerhern
farewell kienleong
NTU concernt
Fahrenheit concert
Yoga's concert

Those whom bdae i didn't managed to attend/ go out.. i am REALLY SORRY. its either i find myself to horrible looking to go out if not i just have to mug for my exams that is on my heels in march. 3 papers. 3 papers that requires attention. 2 papers being back to back. still quite slack. its getting on my nerve why on earth am i still not doing anything to it.

last week was quite stressful for me but i thx ming and eric for encouraging me. that i am not that ugly looking. there's always a cure for everything. i just have to be patient.. everyone tells me that.. maybe i really should start doing it.

i really hate national library. waste my time visiting it today and ended up back home to do my own studies. arghh! waste so much money building something that is meaningless and its all glass surrounded. what happen to ppl like me? how are we suppose to go out when we have fears for heights. moronic design.

once i typed there's always wrong story. ah something else gt my attention. i will be back )

My valentine

2009-02-15T07:49:00.000-08:00

what's on for valentine over at his side? i have to say mine its a little different since i ever celebrated vdae. its not like the first time i spend valentine day with no boyfriends but at least gifts and flowers seems like a standard thing to have. come to think of it i have to thanks calvin for his flower some years back when i had dates with all girls and i still have flowers delivered by i dunno who to my place. it was really sweet of him because no one ever did it to me. his the first one. but nevertheless spending vdae for the past 2 years with joshua was awesome too. but things have to move on somehow and i guess it should start now at least i hope i could. was a being a little irritating ytd complaining about how guys have became practical and how girls have to. what on earth is happening, or is it growing up? i do wish what jerome say about having to show off to him my flowers next year on vdae to him even without a boyfriend. must guys prepare a gift after only when they have a date? shouldn't a date be something that was planned and the last thing to do is to ask the girls out? hahas

i spend the vdae afternoon singing away with ferlin ben n jr, it just didn't feels like vdae maybe because to everyone its just really a singing session. until the moment when ferlin got me this bear thingy. thanks. i think my wishes for her to get attached seems to be on track when she msged me about her flowers from her ex. how i envied her. she's been apart from him like 5 years, how many people could actually be like her. after that i went to meet xq and her frens for movies, dinner and drinks after that. i didn't know that it could be fun still. hahas after all its all her friends. was kinda bored when i was at the drinking place- harry because there isnt music, how on earth does it match a pub. totally going to avoid that place. so i was bz msging some friends whom perhaps would be a little different to my vdae if i agree to their date. but somehow, after that i went to meet jerome , hweehou and melvin for supper. we bought mac to marina barrage.

today was maybe an more formal date date kinda of thing with jerome its was something that i least expected maybe. him wearing something nice, picking me up at my doorsteps with gifts and trying to be really humours and gentleman. but i guess i was a little not myself , dressing like crap. i guess the nicest thing he caught me by surprise was when he swipe his card instead of mine. i am suppose to be treating him and he took my card like as if his really going to use it but who knows when he return to me i was like stunned. i mean i didn't expect him to be who say fren can't have a date. hahas. we watched break out at the esplanade and the dancer was awesome how i wish i could be one of those guests that they picked to take a picture or up on the stage. KOREANs! my boyfriends to bebebebebebe. may i ?

oh yeayea. something that i really had to blog. its like the first experience i ever had. i was always wondering how would it be like if the bus driver actually drives the wrong route. and that answer my question just today. i thought that my eyes were playing trick on me that it wasn't 133 that i board when he drive the route of a normal bus 147. the weird thing is , the uncle didn't bother telling the commuters that he was in a wrong and his going to do smth about that. we had to go to him and ask him about it. funny rite. but i wasn't really upset at all coz i think it was funny and i am so excited about it.

updates..

2009-02-11T08:26:00.000-08:00

Pretentious world

its been a while since i had this feeling about everyone around me is changing and we are all about to face the harsh reality of being fake. must we really be that way as we grow up?

Joshua

i will really kill myself if i were to read his blog one more time in the month of feb. CONTROL man

Gossip girl

arhg.. have been catching gossip girl since ytd on a dvd , it fast and good man.thanks to alfred. my fren from bps? his not really my fren in pri sch but just someone i know cause we are all in different class and i guess he belongs to the "nicer" ppl group while i am like with the naughty people. thanks to facebook he added me and we had a little chat somehow and he has got the gossip dvd so why not just meet him since he is willing to pass it to me. not like chan munwei who requires something good before his willing to lend his harddrive to me. MEAN PORK!

Underworld: The rise of the Lycans

catched it in theatre on monday with jerome. its very nice him to watch the 2nd time with me becoz he slept thru the movies during the time he watch with his frens. at first i tot he was just trying to humour me but during the movies it seems like he really had no idea what is going to happen. anw someone i dunno who told me that its about lycans winning over the vampires . rubbish. cheater. its more about the very begining of how the part 1 even came about.

Outing with classmates on wed

its rare to find me and my classmates hanging out together. esp if the people are those that i don't really speak to in class. there were a total of 8 of us and the only ones that i did hang out with before was adrian and sindy. but they were simply stuck to each other. can't believe that i took a cab from sch to marina sq. they were just saying shall we cab and before i know, we are in the cab itself. had pizza yes man. student meal hahas. i was so super hungry that i had 2 soup which i usually don't drink them. went on with bowling session and its simply not my day for a game of bowl my scores are 68 and 28. the 28 was horrible. the lowest score in my life so far. n its going to stay that way. i was so upset when it appear 0 0 0 8 0 18 0 24 0 28. i will remember this grouping of numbers. after that we went to play pool. thank goodness without luck i still have some skills with me. so i wasn't the loser. played daytona and i was first and second in 2 games. so not too bad. becoz thy were saying that i am " jack of all trades" i dunno if its like that. but it means that i play everything but i m not good at any. that sounded pretty cute and retarded at the same time. everyone left after that while me and the 3 indos guys went to starbucks for a talk. it quite cool that we were talking about real money biz. buying lands, setting up stores, investment. i don't know if i could take their word for it but it definitely something worth hearing since they parents are all so well experienced. it really got me tempted to strive harder!

that ex of mine

supposedly to meet him today but i guess something just went wrong and i realize that i think i thought that he is the one becoz he is rather new. to be frank i know nuts about him now. so i guess i am over it. if he ever read this we are going to be great

REsults!

long awaited results. but its only one modules that they send. i got an A for CB. Yes. when my phone rang and people start telling me their result i was like damn i wanna know mine so i started looking up everywhere in the house and i finally found the spared keys to the letter box. managed to open it with surprised and fear. fear that the other modules will just bring my expectation all the way down. i can't really manage disappointment.

CHERRIOS!

2009-02-07T09:51:00.000-08:00

可以吗让我和你对调

希望换成你爱我爱得快要疯掉

知道吗你对我多重要

只是现在的我们并不适合拥抱

爱随着风飘荡飘过了你嘴角

飘到天涯海角

把我困在这城堡哪里也逃不了

我不要别人温柔的怀抱

听不见你的心跳

连我熟悉的味道再也闻不到

我只要你喊我一次就好

从前亲昵的暗号

多想再次亲耳听到

让我暂时的依靠

那是短暂止痛药很快会失效

你只要再哄我一次就好

让我可以很骄傲

记住我拥有过的好

记住在你怀里微笑

快疯了 happy bdae gary !

2009-02-07T09:22:00.001-08:00

argh! all my photos seems to disappear with the brand new year. i couldn't find the pictures i took with bestman ( the new name i gave for leslie and people )in the past few years. my dad deleted the picts i took in genting and kl with peishan they all , deleted my mayday videos picts. =( its so sad. i didn't even get to load those that he deleted.

when i was crazy trying to find the old pict out, i came across the folder darling. so many pictures of me and him. the memories just keep flowing back. its nice and from the pictures it gives me the feeling of our happiness at that point of time. pictures don't fake, its good as it takes away the bad memories i had for him. what should i do with those pictures? i couldn't bring myself to delete it and its hard for me to rename it. what's wrong man. i feel like uploading all of them and send it to him. or maybe just to my online photos portal. at least when i delete it i will hve a back up but what's the point of doing that? couldn't stop but stop by to read his blog. he seems to move on perfectly with this girl that he wish to spend every moment with and putting a smile to his face. i am happy for him but it seems that his still having prob with his inferiority. if he likes her, why is it so hard for him to just do smth to it. why must he put that dream to an end. i stop to wonder if that girl is christina because if its her, i can still never accept the fact that they are happy together. i hated her.

saw pictures of me when i was younger, perhaps its called the pre phobia of reaching 21, i feel that my smiles aren't that happy anymore and i am not that pretty! the way i dress, the environment changes. i really wish to wash all the pictures out but nowadays its so costly to wash them and to find an album to fit the thousand and thousand of pictures. if only someone could just steal my pictures and put them into album for me within a night's time.

each pictures tells a different story, just by looking at the pictures itself it really reminds me of the things that happen and the words that was said during the photoshoot. whether its ugly , cute or weird looking pictures, it just brings back good memories. =) i think this is why wedding pictures always looks nice because the couple shows their love during the photos. in the past people always tell me from the photo, it can say alot about the people, i had to admit it now.

ytd bestman came over to my place to bai nian and its fun to just really hang out with them. the past i blog and complain about the distance feeling its no longer presence after the not so freq meetings that we had. i know they all cared for me still . i was kinda worried when everyone in my family ask if they are not coming because they took quite long to come up. i was a little worried like will they bluff me for a sec. but its silly to think that way man. hahas. when they came i really smiled =) i think they will be my only grp of frens that will bond with my family. i am glad that effort made was there. we gambled alot, thanks yiyang munwei and caifa for giving me coins after they win. hahas. i felt like a little kid when they were playing coz yy was just like just take the coins and play nevermind de , yet during the game people like dunno bout my presence. i did this to little kids in my family too. hahas. but its good so i minimize my loses. hehe. i love the last part of the visiting every year - phototaking session.

went out with jerome just now after my piano lesson. don't know if my mood plays a part but this time round there's isnt the weirdness being out with him along once again. there's this celebration at chinatown for the 15th day of cny, fireworks display is the reason why i headed down. the environment today was more rara as compared to the lights opening ceremony if only they had it arranged like today. the music was great feels like chinese new year but what's the point of doing it when it seems like its going to end now. hahas. there was many mc and the one standing in front of me was great. everyone shouted huat very loudly and thereafter was the crackers and fireworks display. AWESOME!

Gossip GIRL

2009-02-05T23:40:00.000-08:00

been crazy in love with this show recently. i want to get the dvd man, its easier to watch than on streaming. its so slow. i couldn't find a faster streaming webbie. the cast in the shows are cute and hot but i guess it also help to get my mind off a little while from the crazy reality life that i am leading. xoxo

is the truth usually hurtful '

what does it really mean when people try to be nice

rejection is painful or peaceful

how to differentiate memories from reality

have you ever experienced the feeling of wanting to just be back

in the past.

i had sleepless night ytd, its not painful but peaceful. i have been wondering for weeks what exactly is that feeling really? after talking to him, i realize that it might be an escape that i am looking for. i don't want to be in this time of my life, so i hope to be back with him back to the times where i enjoyed the best time of my life. his diplomatic way of rejection gave me that idea. but he says that is not what he meant hahas. but i really enjoyed being good friends forever. how many couple could actually be like that. we used to say that sometime in the near future, perhaps we could get back together. this thought did etched in my heart but to him what does it really mean? we've all grown up, the past us maybe very different from now. we need to know the new us. but deep now, does the old us still exist?

happy chinese new year

2009-01-30T00:16:00.000-08:00

this new year is pretty much different. not much of gambling mood and there's no dragon dance around most estates. - bad bad recession.. hopefully it will be over real soon..so many things has happen within the last year, things are over and i am getting happier. just wish that my studies willbe good and everyone around me will be happy. =)

gong xi gong xi, wan shi ru yi. this two is the most common phrase that i know how to say le hahas. i don't think i can expect to wish people kuai gao zhang da. hahas. i was suppose to stay up during the cny eve but in the end i slept at 3 plus. cny day 1 is always the best day because u get your hong bao collection then. the weather isn't like normal chu 1 its more brezzy and less sunny so its good! because when u go to the temple is not that uncomfortable.. as usual after going to places at night my parents will bring us to movie. we watched love matters. this show totally sux. its so boring.

this year new year is bit weird for me already, all my cousin are older and they are mainly boys yet they are so concern about having a girlfriend. maybe its the face matters. but they are so enthu when my mum was like saying she know how to read palm, the qn that pop out is "when will i married". omg. they are guys ehs. hahas. one of my cousin brought his gf and this is the the first gf being approve by my ah ma. she's troublesome. my elder is married so to them its weird coz she's not the eldest yet sh'e married. everyone keep pressurzing the big cousin to find one. my qn is must he fake and bring 1 girl along to appease those people. funny eh keep asking that. esp my aunts, they are so concerned about their son's marriage yet they are saying this girl not good that not good. as if their child super star la. and when it comes to me, they always confuse me n lixin and they will say eh sry sry coz the height diff. how many years have i been shorter le!? yet they still confuse and use the same reason of ht diff. it doesn't hurt me with that phrase anymore. coz now i grow up i will say oh no la i am the elder one, so many years le your still dunno i shorter meh?

chu 3 clubbing! hahs. its the first time i go club during new year.went with ferlin gary sokpeng and hongyi our new friend came along. we went doubeo to get the freeflow girls drink first then head back to zouk for the dancing. saw tuna while we were at zouk and there's alot of gossip bout ferlin's life. kienleong was there as well and that guy really changed. he smoked?! gosh.. i figured out all my ex smoke in a way or another by now.hahas. brandon, yeowann, seonghoon, ken's fren,benson's fren were all down at zouk met alot of people and the feelign is nice to say hi to each other n gong xi gong xi. hahas.

chu4 my poly mates came over to had steamboat at my place. all 7 of us except weixiang. its fun as the girls went to buy the ingredients. the feeling of alot of girlfriends in the kitchen is comfortable. we played poker and black jack, the biggest winner is genius queck! the saddest thing is that we didn't take pictures. arhg!

number patterns

2009-01-22T05:56:00.001-08:00

stupid number pattern. p3 only also so difficult. it quite a malu event for me this afternoon while trying to coach my kid about it. i think they think that the students nowadays are genius hahas. i had to secretly msg to jerome n kl to ask them for answer. it did took them a while but a least there'a an answer. not like me , stare at the question so long yet i didn't manage to solve. hahas.

Be contented

2009-01-20T06:14:00.000-08:00

one should learn to be contented with what they have is always what people tells us. it can be easily acheived when you experiencethat from zero- something . but if u once have everything, wouldn't it be harder for u to be contented?

met up with gary last fri after class. he picked me up from shaw and we headed to great world city to have dinner because its really jam packed at orchard? had fish & co followed by a long chat. trying to squeeze conversation about what happen to us for the past 1 year plus ? i haven't met him since donkey years ago till the alumni night then we started talking again. we both had our commitment with our own respective partner back then so it wasn't really convienient for us to meet up. after that we went to ecp to this corner of ecp that my dad use to bring me and leslie gang for picnic in the secondary school years while this corner meant alot to him and his lovers. we just sat in the car enjoying songs from zhang xue you. its nice to hear old songs while we lament the past. i've got my curfew so i was home shortly after 12. well and of cause it makes me think about my past too. did a silly msg to kienleong and realize i wanna take it back. i mean things are over with us. perhaps i just want a little clearer pictures of how things ended at times. damn hopefully he doesn't think too far hahas.

sat was a crazy day of shopping and lots of shopping with ferlin. haji lane, arab st, bugis junction , bugis street. it cost me about a hundred plus dollar for a few items but about 300 plus for ferlin wong! she's the ultimate shopping queen? when she has got the moeny, she buys without hesitation. she will convince herself at the quickest time to just get the thing she want. hahas but thanks to this characteristic i managed to persuade her to spend 100 over at my mum's shop. but its worth it! 5 piece for 100. y not? so hey guys.. a little advertisement time.

storewide 10 % at cherish - central. its cool deal. something for everyone.

sun was working day at the esplanade, this time was quite a experience being a the carpark trying to guide the vips. ?its just a short 2 hour but they will pay u for 3 hrs ( min pay ) so i got an hour extra?

mon blue as they say was school day again. after school went with ferlin and my da jie to do facial. this is a new place for me and a totally new experience for ferlin. hope she had enjoyed it. =) i wanna go for massage and medicure ! but the idea of $$ turns me off a little. oh yea.. mr nathan came to mdis today. is he going to sponsor our school some funds? hahas. he created a big hoo-haa in school. jielong appeared at my house door once again but this time it was more of a surprise because i really never expected that. hahs but as usually i don't know how to show appreciation so i said his breakfast sux. hahas

i love today lesson the most, marketing communication i think its the main modules in marketing? its seem more relevant than what product innovation blahblah.. boring.. bought bras today! spend money again.+on my spenditure - my savings. newyear is just 2 days? but i bought like for an entire week? hahas. wore this cardigan to schhool and its quite a good response from my classmates they are eager to spend money on CHERISH again. yES! hahas. this feeling is good. his msges came and it make me feel things are normal. but its just so hard to meet and weird to suggest because his always busy and i am not the kind of girl either. its either yupp gg out or nope . hahas.

i am going to have a holiday break from this fri onwards. 2 weeks of break! date me out!! i am dying to craack my brains where shall i go.. my classmates are all going back..

breezy

2009-01-14T05:39:00.000-08:00

weather has been rather breezy and cold recently. its nice to wrapped myself up with blanket. that feel of warmth is something that i look forward to every night.

happy birthday to amy, rena and jinglin. the jan babies that i knew of =)
yesterday was a weekday supposedly a curfew before 12. but i reached home like at 1am. was out with leslie and gang celebrating rena's birthday. went to sakae sushi buffet. its the first time i eat sakae so i thought that i should open myself up to more choices. thou i ate a lot of choices, but none is my favourite. the mochi dessert is yummy. my house has got it too. but not in lychee and peach , which tasted nice delicious too. after that we went to chill at the cathay starbucks and marriage was one of the topic. hahas targeting at rena and caifa. i sincerly hope that the one that they are with now is the one that they are going to married =) after that we went to the bench outside smu. we formed 2 grps - fan jian and advisor. whahas rubbish. bascially its just talking about relationship. me jere n munwei has been classified together. they gave many different advise and i think some of it is true. i always lead people on without me knowing it. i would just verbally tell the person and if he is still a willing party, i won't go create that distance. but by not doing so, it may still lead the person on because my words and action don't synchronize.so i think this is the reason the way i am treating jerome now.but come to think of it. i think as long as we are happy shouldn't think so much. it seems impossible that platonic relationship can purely exist? i don't want a relationship soon maybe even for the next few mths. what i need is someone who can be there when i am bored and talk to. entertain me play with me. a playmate. but it would alway lead them to fall for me. it will den lead to stress causes as everything reach a different phase people expect something more.. i haven't fully got over my exs. it is making me fear to make new guy friends. now i would contact back frens that i used to know and hang out with. i think this is easier because i won't fear to lead them on. hahas. but i believe sooner or later i will be back to myself. i m just more friendly to guys and i like hanging out with them its my character i think.

school has been hard for me to concentrated and get things started. i think its because of the holidays thingy. like next week i will be having another 2 weeks of holiday for chinese new year.

last sunday i met ferlin to go and shop. and we bought a book on horoscope. i think the most of the contents are quite true. but i am not obbessed with the ideas thou. what do u guys think if girls are to woo the guy? would anything turns out well?

the someone i missed badly.

Gear up

2009-01-08T06:50:00.000-08:00

Eyucks!

read the news on the chinatown incident. gosh man. ytd there was this boy that got killed today was some business man got this fingers injured. why are people so violent nowadays? and worst still, in my teritory? hope that its not those china people creating trouble. _ not being racist_

i am all geared up for school now! projects has got me starting. thou this presentation doesn't call for any markings but it makes me feel that its hard to get along with my grp members. they are the 2 couple i mentioned. the malaysia girl dump me. ever since the sem start she changed group. i can totally understand y . cause it really feels rather weird that 2 couple that are not couple are quite touchy with each other in front of u. it delays the project speed too. maybe i am not so used to this sch environment, my purpose there is to like get things done chop chop go home do my own stuff. its more like learning and not doing it. its like going for seminars and not class. but my group consist of the smarter ones. its good cause the ideas are not too bad but bad because 4 people are aggressive sort. including myself. wonder how will it works out.. to be continued.. hahas.

tmr is alumni night again. drag gary to go along with me because i thought that ferlin will be companying her friend and i think that sokpeng is going to fly me areoplane hahas but in the end. it seems like gary is going to be alone =) lols. its gona held at fort canning. hopefully tmr night will be breezy. nice nice weather ..

what is it like if girl is going to woo the guy ? check out scv channel 55 hahahas. nice show!

picture taken from my phone!

2009-01-06T05:35:00.000-08:00

i got mayday signature! thanks to my brother in law

my husband!

i could only take pict of him. blinded by him hahas mayday concert is simply awesome! its happening. they make boring people alive. the news says that police was alarm because the fans was shouting way too loud? cool man! all i did was spend $20 and i get to go his concert and to have his album signed. i want to go for their concert in aug

new year eve fireworks

kaikai's bdae

someone drew this at the wishing sphere counter pretty rite

kelvin junming boon kheng. - its been long while since i met them and i took pict

picture of me at genting !

me and candida- my new working fren

does that little girl look like me? hahas

Jerome's art

Wedding gift for my sister Rom

munwei n me !

jerome's art

MINE! hahas nice rite?

Clubbing pictures:

chinese new year lighting

2009-01-05T07:00:00.000-08:00

the last post was too long. this is specially for peishan jerome stanley my sister.

we've hang out quite a bit after the trip and the gathering was fun. all the movie arcade, chinese new year fireworks light up at chinatown and the may day concert! loves love. esp peishan. hopefully we don't end that way. it should carry on.

happy new year

2009-01-05T06:36:00.000-08:00

ahas hahas its a bit late now to wish everyone a happy new year but every since the trip back from kl everyday has been a fun and hetic day for me. its fulfling. nevertheless alot money has been contributed back to the economy.

new year eve was spend with leslie caifa amy munwei. jere and his gf supposedly to join us but well i guess they need their honeymoon time together hahas. we went marina bay for the countdown. spend 18 dollar on it. i guess maybe its well spend on having the most spectacular view on the fireworks but not the performance. i had to admit it was boring. perhaps because its mainly english songs? i guess it would be higher if its on channel8. hahas. i tried to entertain myself to make myself high so that the rest won't be so bored. leslie said like i got the wrong grp of friends because i was high and their not. but i don't think i had the wrong grp of people. thou they may not be as enthu as some others, but its being with them that makes me feel good. 2008 have been bad and spending the last day of it and the first day of 2009 makes me feel good because i feel like a family when i am with them. maybe i didn't show it. i was a little crazy and they keep asking me to shut up and don't keep moving around but hahas i like it. after that we took train to serangoon and had prata. choonleong joined us for it. he bought us food from hongkong .yumyunm. but i didn't have a chance to taste it!!! it was at caifa's house and my slipper the one i bought for kelvin, its with munwei. so for me to meet kelvin i need to meet munwei first. ok back to the new year eve, at caifa house he taught me this game which i dunno what is called, but its fun. it taught me how to take risk. i am not a risk taker myself so by playing this kind of game, i think i will cultivate that kind of mentality. but it ended a bit bad when everyone say that i was mean to show jerome attitude because he was late to pick me up. i know i was mean to show attitude, but perhaps its because i was afriad that my parents will scold me. if someone could say like hey chill don't worry. but they say i was spoilt. but i understand that they didn't know how me and jerome communicate so it looks mean for them. but i am glad that jerome was understanding and know my temper well enough. after i board the car, i also apologized for the nasty voice i sounded over the phone. hahas. i think its more of a give and take thingy. maybe me being luckier that i can get to vent my anger first. after all, who is he to fetch me? people fetch me i think i should appreciate le. i do. its just with my frens, i show the not happy face. but they should be nicer! not everyone bombard me. but yea la they didn't shout at me that was great le.

i dislike this xmas because there isn't gift exchange from any of my main grp. like benson n leslie grp. i thought its like don't nida to say and the process it there. but i think maybe because they are guys, its not cultivated within them. its only when its spoken and if its for their gf. or perhaps its the recession. hahas. its a bit upsetting but grow out of it. i think i will xi guan.

read joshua blog knowing that he didn't had a very nice new year on his 3rd day. wonder what happen but none can give me an answer. after that i have been pondering whats wrong but even walter doesn't know.

apple told me that he spend his new year countdown at this girl place, and ferlin told me he saw joshua, caifa told me he saw him too during my new year countdown. everyone just keep telling me where they saw him . it makes me wonder, how's his leg. but everyone say sry i didn't notice how he walk. aya. hahas.

after all that happen i know joshua still has a place. i've spoken it to jerome about it. thx u ! for being so understanding. i don't know how we will become in future. but i hope that u will still be my friend for me. not like those people who change and totally be stranger. =)

i met kienleong after school today. it was rather impromptu outing. its for like 1.5 hr? hahas. i didn't know why but i guess its all because we both were bored. i saw kien sin! shuai. shuai. hahas. an lian him!. he still looks the same. so decent looking hahas. i was glad that the meeting with kienleong didn't turn out strange. like as if there's no conversation. even though it was like harsh suaning to each other but it make the whole thing feel more natural. he cheat me of my bintan trip. kuku head! but its oke..

after that i met ferlin, sokpeng, joan. we had out 38 session and decided to go bintan in april too. hopefully i will really go ! i want to go! they are still as loveable. all of us had our own prob and we spend time at the popeye*flyer* talking and conselling each other. the benefit of having girlfriend is this man. if only my guy friends will be willing to hear my stuff. maybe its me. never hear their prob. but i don't know how to approach them. everyone's so busy with their sch,wrk. people get lazy about calling people out. what happen. is this what happen at 20s? sms communication seems to be the way. but i don't like that. always got misinterpretation. i prefer phone conversation. more happy =)

stupid leslie! msg him talk to him about my prob no reply. kns!

19 Dec- 29Dec

2008-12-29T20:33:00.000-08:00

19 Dec
Went to fei lun hai concert on the 19 of dec with sweeleng. forgot to mention this in the blog hahas. was being auntie.. sick yet she told me the ticket is free. it kinda a waste if i were to insist staying at home? nth special about their concert but when her parents send me home. its the weirdest thing. her dog was at the back seat. stupid sweeleng refuses to go into the car first, so i had to do it. its like the first time that i am having so close contact with a dog such that i can feel its heartbeat. but this dog is a good dog, he doesn't bark or move alot. but throughout the whole journey i was always on the high alert mode. hahas. anyway.. thanks swee leng =)

21 Dec
Its the big day for my family. the sisters group came over to my house on the 20 to settle some minor major stuff. didn't had much sleep because we were all expected to wake up at 5? things were much different in singapore. i thought that we didn't havem uch time to disturb hendra so i kinda ask the girls to hurry and make it simpler. whahas he should thanks me for that =) after that came all the tea ceremony and blahblah.. i think its all waste of time. the nicest thing about wedding is that the bride is pretty 24 hrs? all the clothes are like beautiful. i am not the model size for bridal gowns outfit. esp in length wise. suddenly thought that if i were to get married, my bf should be quite poor thing cause even shoes needs to be custom made? hahas.

dinner time was less lively than batam but it looks much grand than batam. i guess its the singaporean way of celebrating the wedding. my father side cousin was crazy to keep drinking as thou as drinks are free and the sorta got the attention they wanted. i wanna thanks joan and jerome a million times for sitting far away from me thanks to those errors people changing seats. thanks. and of cause those people who came for me =)

23 - 27 Dec
Merry xmas to all ! =)
went over to genting for xmas. that would mean that i will have no present. dunno y this year i don't have the feeling to shop for xmas nor expect people to give it to me. perhaps the recession influence. hahas. but xmas is an gift exchange time. so people who told me to do it, i have to get something for them. kelvin and deanne and of course, my beloved cousins and sister. actually didn't wanted to get for cousin ,but on the 27 dec, its kaikai bdae so everyone had to be there. i did a last min shopping for all. hahas

people asked me about the trip. its was great. =) the weather was cold on the first day, full of mist. i am glad we took millions pict that day because the subsequent days wasn't that misty after all. no gambling because most of us were underage. spend quite a lot. and realize that it was more on games and food. not really on my shopping stuff. everything in genting that has to be paid for to play, i think i did it. no theme parks for me. ah ~yea! the funnies and record setting for the whole grp of us was the first day. ever since we reach genting, it was eating waffles, chinese cusine, seafood, macdonald. we went from full to super full . the interval between all were like max 0.5 hr. except for macs thou. mac was supper. but half an hours is record breaking for all of us. crazy.i guess its the cold weather. we just feel full but not bloated.

there wasn't extra sparks with anyone. just bonding of friendship i guess. and i liked that =) pictures shall do their stories... =)

28 Dec
last day of wishing sphere! i made gd friends =)

29 Dec
met up with ferlin and kelvin. finally get to watch yes man. thanks kelvin for the xmas + bdae gift !

everyone is down !

2008-12-20T05:19:00.001-08:00

everyone seems to be sick around me. pls take care man. i think its the weather that is causing everyone health to be upside down. after being sick for the past 2 days, now and then i will feel very hungry. i guess its the medicine that cause me to be hungry? woke up today and zoom zoom here to get gown, alter gowns, get flower pack the house.. and help set up for dinner. finally. i was so hungry waiting for my mummy to be done. hahas.

looking at the carpark across my room, there's 4 nice car which look simliar to me and the way the park is the same way and there is like a synchronize movement with them. quite cute..

tmr is the big day. tha main prob is people not coming at last min notice. i think its very irresponsible. because each seat is an expense man. last min don't come, how do u expect us to find people to replace quickly? its embarassing to call people up and tell them hey the wedding is tmr , ure invited. its obvious that they are just there to substitute the empty seats? some people are just inconsiderate. i am very grateful to my friends who had confirm with me at first notice and had kept their promise till now. clara, joan, gekhui, munwei, choonleong and leslie thank you people =)

new link, new life

2008-12-18T22:00:00.000-08:00

i guess till now only peishan knows the real reason why i change my blog link. i guess some people have this question in mind as well. i didn't want joshua to know anything else about me since he decided that his not able to be my friend anymore. i also didn't want any single contact with him. i also feel that my blog is everything about him. i want a new life new post everything. hopefully i won't be blogging anything about him. but thru this change of add thingy, i realize who are my freq readers too. hahas. thx for knowing what is going on with me. =) but u guys didn't an wei wo!

really thx peishan for calling me up the other night to ask me what happen to me and show concern towards me. i guess the rest was just to afriad to ask?

been sick since ytd. was sudden. woke up feeling uneasy all over, but there wasn't fever. so i went to work. but i felt worst so i decided to go home earlier in case, i m sick for my sister wedding that will be much more horrible. jerome drove me home, thanks. rested at home, but someohow my fever rose to 39 degree. but my back was aching like mad. went to sinseh first but it didn't feel better because the fever is making me giddy and painful everywhere. took a fever pill and sleep at home. fever subside but rise again after hrs. so my mummy brought me to western doc. fever was still at 38.5. doctor gave me injeection.. sob sob.. i hate and scare of needle. argh.. but was wondering what's wrong with me this year round. each time i had fever, needles seems to be a must, it doesn't subside with rest and pills.

doc says that it might be because i was having slight flu and throat pain yet i went for the adventure. but i never regret going for it ba. it was fun..

suppose to meet edward dickson and joewei ytd, but since i went back earlier, i missed the gathering. i want to see them soon! congrats to enter sispec and ocs unit =)

couldn't sleep, guess i sleep too much but i am still feeling weak and giddy. i think staring at the computer needs energy.

i don't need anyone to pamper me with sweet words right now, i just need to feel that the sincere and the care. sweet words just makes me feel disgusted like wth. i am sick yet u still say all those thing. bit irritating. i have no mood at all to process those long long sms. i am sry thou.

sunshine after rain..

2008-12-16T07:35:00.000-08:00

okies. enough of all the screaming shouting and lashing out on the blog. shall not have any of those in my blog anymore. i don't want to lose any other friend now. so to all my dearest friends, i am free.. DATE ME OUT! i can go anywhere. hahas. we can play everything.

worked at central the whole day with the new girl jade. she's my younger sister friend. she's a funny person la non stop talking. no matter what my respond is she can come out with different topic. hahs cutes.

went to alter the rom dress today and realize there isn't a need cause the size was loose now. but the other time at batam it was tight. guess i silm down or someone snatch my food. quarrel with that idiot over if dress is tight or stretchable, his seems to be saying that i am fat or just trying to pick a quarrel. he ended up saying" i also don't want argue with you" WTH. it cause me to be angry and upset coz joshua used to say that. its hurting because it seems like i am troublesome la. don't want talk to me. but well.. things are fine now. friends forever =)

finally found people to take over my morning shift on friday so that i wouldn't have to miss 4 classes. the rest i have no choice but to miss it cause i had promise to work and there isn't a subst.

heard over the radio that people that lives along the private houses, the house and street lights are nicely decorated, even nicer than orchard. i wanna drive down sixth ave to take a look at it! can someone drive me therE? hahas. we can cycle too.

2008-12-15T07:52:00.000-08:00

don't say things that sounds like an idiot. all actions are changed with your language. everything i did, i meant well,it was real feeling. but now u can just everything also deny it and say it was guilt. i don't want to be your friend too! ass

pictures~

2008-12-15T06:04:00.000-08:00

i just need to show some ugly pict to make myself laff. wth so ugly..

i leap my way to 2009..

vote see who looks better? she?

hers?

or ! do i have a better pose?

gosh look ! this is the morning make up i said at batam. look like a getai kinda

back of my hair after! bird nest!!!!

my hair!before..

still this is the nicest photo ever.. nice teeth we've got..

holiday!~

2008-12-15T05:18:00.001-08:00

many people is going on a holiday. perhaps because it recession so most people i know of went genting or are going genting and kl. kailin, kelvin, eugene,amy. wow! hahas most envy is choonleong - hk and korkor to turkey. gosh he went like eygpt sometime back. i had never been to this weird weird countries before. i hope that i will ever get to visit them. with my family. i wanna bring them around.

what do people do for new year countdown? i want to go for the mediacorp event at $18 , simply because at the floating platform the fireworks display would be much more obvious. do check that out! ~

finally confirmed the gowns to be worn on the wedding day hopefully i will look pretty =) whahas.. i need big hugs from my friends. today i msg some people that i used to be close like weiliang and kelvin and gene about my prob. i am glad they didn't ignore me or say smth like gosh u tok to me? coz that would really hurt. hahas.. think too much i guess. but greetings from frens once in a while is nice ..

hold up!

2008-12-15T05:09:00.001-08:00

i prayed that i can call out to stop everything as it is. i got my courage and told my mum to drive to his place without knowing where is it. i lie to him that i was in cab so that he wouldn't be stubborn and not tell me where the address is. i was glad that his out , that would mean that his able to walk. knowing that makes me feel better. not less guilty but happy for him. i wanna call out a hold to all this, why could a couple break up and end up this way. this is not a way that i would want it to be. never experience it before. no idea how to handle.

went up and face his dad, feeling a lil wei qu cause my mum was with me. she knows everything and i felt bad that she has to handle that situation too. she was like why he never answer ure phone, why why why was irritating that i had to tell her. she was rather upst with what people is saying about me. shouldn't have blurt it out of my mouth. her regards to u ..

but if things are going to get worst. i want it to stop right now. whatever that is happening, its just hurting both of us even more. this is ridiculous. do we have to resort to this to just make each other forget and move on. i believe there is a better way to help us move on. a happier ending. learn how to be friends..

i bought u the slippers, i don't know what way u will think of it. but its for xmas. that's all. i don't know if we will still be talking but don't let whatever it is affects the people around us.i don't know if it was stupid to do so, but i never think it was and i don't need to be reciprocrated. so don't think i am bullying u or making u feel guilty. hopefully not ure frens thought. i don't want anything about us to have them involved..

happy weekend

2008-12-15T01:05:00.000-08:00

something nice to cheer myself up. i had a happy weekend! =) thou money is a issue this month cause of the trip but i am sure it will be nice.

on sat, thx to lucius hard work for 2 mths, the mi clique - lucius, mel, jes, weizhi, peishan, alicia, liying, jerome, shaowei, lidiyana and her bf i hope i spell correctly, went to forest adventure at bedok reservoir. i had never go on a adventure like flying fox and stuff before because i was always scare of heights. at first, we wanted to go against him by changing the prog to kbox cause this adventure was relatively no as exciting as those that the guys had tried in army.we thought we could cause it was raining, but in the end, the rain stopped. peishan didn't wanted to try so i thought ok, i shall pei her. but in the end, we still went up. and i glad i did. if not i don't think i will ever try such stuff in the rest of my life? i was happy i overcomed it. thou it wasn't very high, but it gives me a sense of acheivement.

it was different from outward bound acc. to the instructor there as its more of a DIY thingy. u have to be responsible for your ownself. there isn't people belaying u below.the mechanics things is quite wonderful. me and alicia, too small size the person was like this is the tightest i can go. but being a left hand person, it makes it hard for me to reach the hook that is like behind my back. hahas. the girls all have small heads, we used the child's helmet. there's like a lil warm up or training session so it sort of make me feel safer a bit. the instructor says that he will send people home if he thinks they cannot make it.i was glad i wasnt!hahas.

we were suppose to slot the guys in between the girls so that it would be easier for them to help out. one by one we cross the hurdle. i love flying fox! that's the only thing that i am not scare of. hahas and i can do it in peace. reason being its across the reservoir. so i guess the water makes me feel peaceful because i feel that i can swim. the only scary thing that i think i came across was this tree that is quite tall and we were suppose to jump off it to catch the net. it was quite a steep jump. but not as scary as roller coaster hahahs.

people who have not tried it should give it a try.

later on, everyone went to lucius house to bath except me and jerome. lucius and alicia drove so they drop us separately. after that we went to kovan and lucius came out to drove us into his house. gosh.. his rich. 3 cars. 3 nice beautiful cars. his house is still as nice as ever. and his very nice to really keep his dog out of reach from me and peisha. hahas. in the bbq session edwin, iskanda and 1 mre girl was there. thank you shaowei for bbq all the food for all of us. but it seems like all of us are quite tired because at the later part of the night there seems to be slight tension between conversation hahas. lucius!!! sry if any of us make u feel hard to go between u n ure gal.. i am supportive of u ! after that alicia drove me home. hahas. tired but was worth the day. i wanna such outing someday soon..

thx lucius for the effort.. really thankful.. i love everyone there so much. happy early xmas =) will upload the pict soon..

r.e.t.a.r.d.e.d

2008-12-15T00:54:00.000-08:00

its my relationship. only me and my bf can judge me the rest just shhh.. kip ure words.advice will do but no need to keep repeating or instill your thoughts upon others. everyone should be supportive whenever your frens have a partner. whether the person is bad or not, as long as ure fren love them, u shud just be supportive. don't add oil to fire whenever they argue. because it really mean to break a loving couple up and take adv. of the situation. worst when u try to match them up with some other people when they take a break off the relation. hpm >.<

this is crappy! i am so angry that i just had to blog, but as i waited for this computer to load, i've cooled down. i came to my sense. i can't be bother about what people say behind my back because its not something within control and as long as i am clear concious , i should take it like a girl. joshua's fren jason foo! idiot , went to ask his camp mate if he knows me and later on, he bad mouth about me? saying i was bad and joshua is stupid. maybe poor thing i guess. but i mean, his a guy? come on i have not come across a guy that bad mouth a girl. his the first i guess. n worst is he knows me fren knew me, so what is he trying to pass the message across? allan msg me this at night and it gave me sleepless night. i was so eager to know what is it about that they say and most impt did allan help me speak up or did he go along with the crap. but right at this moment, i think its not impt about what he says or if allan believe me.. i didn't had the courage to know i guess. i didn't want to make it harder for me to be friend with joshua. n allan u piggy head! say i bully u. but i think i can trust u to filter information.

went to school today, first day of school again. realize my planning sux. i had 3 schoool days that clashes with my work schedule? i wonder how am i going to resolve it. trying to find people to help me take over some shift. after school went to buy slippers supposedly to find him.but i can't control myself today so i guess tmr will be better in case i say anything bad.

tired tired tired.. wedding preparation what has it got to do with me man? i shouldn't be inviting my friends. its hard to get their replies. but i understand cause they do not know my sister. but i don't have that many people that know my sister well? but i am glad my girls are supportive. =)i dunno how the wedding will turn out to be like but i hope that she will be enjoying it..

peace..

i know u and me both tried. and i am thankful that friends wasn't really the reason why we are like that. but the aftermath, i don't know. i hope to remain frens rather than stranger thou i know u don't remain frens with ure exs. but i think its diff with us.

meanie.

burnt out

2008-12-12T08:18:00.000-08:00

guess working hard is tiring especially with the cold weather. wanted to see the chinese doctor to get extra medicine but he said that i have slight asthma and gave me other medicine. have been feeling weaker this days but i thought that is the tiredness within me. i am tired but i am glad people around me understand what is it about and they showed enough concern for me. did msg walter to ask me about joshua but he says that it would be better if i had total no contact with him. it would be hurtful but its easier for him. maybe. i wanted him to pei me to find him to check on him. but he isn't free.

tmr i am going to the forest adventure with my MI clique. i dunno if its fun and i am scare that it would be scary. i don't want to fall down or back out at the last min because it is gona cost me 25 dollar. ! arghs. hahas but everyone is going, if i don't go i think i will be quite upset with myself for missing it too.

finally planned and book my holiday trip to genting plus kl le. many decision was change at every minute its hard to plan but well.. finally got it. will be going with peishan,stanley,jerome, and 3 peishan friends with my lil sister. there's been some tough times trying to plan out the prog and the money issue but i am glad that all my friends are nice ppl quite easy going makes it easier to plan =)

diminished..

2008-12-05T06:39:00.001-08:00

no matter how steadfast our love used to be, i don't understand why we ended up like this. i want us to be happy, regardless if we are friends or lover. i don't know if i should visit u. i want but i scare u say i fake again.

merry merrry go round..

cut my hair today with my sister, hopefully a new hair cuts makes a new different life. what can i do or say now to make things better for us to face each other.

aftermath..

2008-12-04T21:09:00.000-08:00

after all the things u said how do u expect me to face you? how do u expect me to think nth happen. it has always been the case, u saying smth bad, then u say smth nice. i don't want to lead u on by visiting u yet i can't find a second person to pei me to visit u . guess i will just see you on the day of my sister wedding. i don't deny that i am happy with him. i am happy with anyone that does not drag their promises. i don't regret saying the nail things as bullshit because till now i have never gotten a bottle of it. my family dotes my exs like their own too. if u ever need them, u can always just give them a ring. they are not the mean kinda whom just leave you once we broke up. i believe my exs can prove that they are nice people. teach me now how to show u that i care. u don't want to be my friend, on what do i take to visit u ? the one person that indirectly cause ure injury?

its funny that i blog often whenever u had smth up at yours and the saddest thing is that its always bad stuff. you made me proud to think that u ever did try to accept uncle, if u are really not able to accept him as your 'dad" then just take him as ure mum's bf, as long as ure mum is happy i guess u will be too. i m not fit to comment anything else coz yes i will really never understand how is it like to have such family or the loneliness because i got a pair of sisters. but if u feel lonely, u've got your friends.. u could try sms-ing them to come and play with you? you don't have to be bothered about if their busy.. i m sure they will make it.

better off~

2008-12-04T07:26:00.001-08:00

if u think that i am that kind of woman. so be it. i don't know what else to say to just make you better. things that i done is from my heart. u think its complicated, i can't blame you for that either. i just want to be your friend and that's that. i don't think at this point of time u ever bothered if there's still love from me. if u think tmr is the last time u wanna suffer whatever pain, i think u will be better off without having me faking my care for u. my presence should hurt u more. and whatever cut u deep, selfish, leading u on. any accusation from u i will just take it. i don't need those words from u every again.

to be back as friends or not will be your call man. i am not going to be as mean as u to say that u will be there but not forever. what i need is someone to be there even if they have someone else. i think that is what friends are for.

i had never taken u as a fling. flings arent' like that.

i am sorry your leg is hurt. i am sry i didn't wake up earlier today to visit u as i promised too( i remembered, not like stupid nail strengthener. bullshit ). but i glad i ddin't. becoz if i read ure post after i am back i dunno how hurt would i then be. i really am. for the last time i say it.i don't know how am i suppose to treat u from now on. even to visit u, will i be thrown out of it?

* but i hope u will draw the hatred line clearly and not take it upon my sister wedding

i cared.

2008-12-02T20:10:00.000-08:00

why is it so hard to just believe or convince someone that i care sincerely? must it be because i am guilty or because i pity them? ridiculous. i know how you feel for me. when i am nice to u, u say i lead u on and u don't want to be playing games with me. when i am less nicer to u, u say i didn't show enough concern and will a lil more kill me? NO it won't. it just that i dunno what are the boundaries that i should be having that will make u comfortable. treat u like a friend, you say you are not interested. i know u don't want just be my friend. u want to get back together. but the things that u say and do hurts me more. is this how u want to woo someone back ? i am sorry that my house piano hurt u but none of my family members including me pity u because of it. we cared. i dunno why u can ever think otherwise. kinda disappointing. if u don't want me to visit u or to company you to your appt, i shan't force u like how i did when we were together. obviously, after break up i can't possibly still be like last time being so thick skin and ask u to let me take care of u. but nevertheless, i will still be there to volunteer. but if u reject me, can you teach me what am i really suppose to do ?

everyone wants you well by the wedding.i've just been too busy with my exams and the wedding preparation. its just so short time. i tried my best to show u all my concern within my limit already. i know its not enough if you were to compare it with the past. i can do more. but what u say ytd i dunno what am i suppose to do now.

going clubbing tonight.sokpeng and joan pang seh! idioit them. hpmhpmhpm. ! but i sort of knew it that when i wake up there will be a few pang seh msg. this is the bad thing about dating girls out. hahaas. but nvm la. i understand! =))

sister's wedding

2008-12-02T06:33:00.000-08:00

i love my family hahas first time we all wear so nice

do i look younger hahash

i feel short!

this handsome dude the groommaid.. is it wad u call him?

anyone want us?! hahas

xin n siewfong thinks his cute lols.. !

cheese!

the in-laws

congratulation ! her batam wedding was awesome.. its was grand i guess.. hahas but too bad it was in batam so she couldn't have much of her sista grp over there. but it was quite rarrar as hendra has got 18 cars to fetch her from the hotel to his house. it was like WOW to me seeing so many cars making noise. usually i see bike doing that for malay wedding. i did thought before how nice it would be to have many cars fetching me. quite yaya rite.. hahas. reach batam on fri night and went shopping for a pair of heels. i found one. finally. it was a little big but still managable. but the rest who reach in the morning did their hair cut, facial and peidicure medicure. i didn't get to do it! went for dinner and head to this megamall to shop. bought alot of gorceries materials. went back to hotel at about 11 plus but i got to wake up at 2? ! i thought they will style the bride hair first but no! they wanted to do it at the same time. so well oki.. looking horrible and messy but it was still ok because there was make up to cover my sleeply looks and pretty hairstyle to make me look better =)

the groom came to pick the bride and stupidly we open the door just as he arrived so we didn't get to get some hong bao from him. i finally saw my partner ! hahas not that bad as i imagine him to be la. hahas nice guy =) his name is called charles. lols. went to hendra house and he has got 8 freaking bigs dogs. luckily the car can drive into the house and reach his door. if not i wonder how am i going to fight with the dogs. the little boy who open the door is damn cute! i want him to be my husband man. cute! hahas siewfong n my meimei oso in love with him. they had their ceremony and blahblah so many stupid steps. den i headed back to the hotel. in the late afternoon all the relatives and friends went to the studio to style and make up. was pretty cool that he book the whole place just to help all his relatives and friends to dress up. i think in batam its quite a grand event to be getting married. and i heard that marrying a singaporean gal has more face. hahas.

dinner was awesome.. 40 tables i guess? the entering of the restaurant was great. i mean i had never been a bridesmaid so when i was holding her dress walking down the aisle it felt like it was my wedding too. i was super nervous for them! hahas added pict show u how;s the dinner like.. enjjoy =))

been busy busy

2008-11-25T06:35:00.000-08:00

yes! its been long since i blog i was busy doing wedding preparation.. lets start from last monday.. 17 nov.. my first paper. prepared myself i guess but the paper was a little tough but i know i will be able to pass it.. after that joshua came over to my place to help me out with moving the furniture and an accident happen. the piano fell on his foot. acc to him it was the wire that trip the piano but i think the piano trip and hit his foot becoz he wanted to help me ba.. but of coz i got some injuries on myself too.but it was rather minor compared to his. was msging eric and he was very cool about it coz he said he had seen too much in the police force. hahas. maybe i should start seeing things more so that i will be cool and i know how to be stable a bit. happily enjoyed my time waiting for his turn to the doc.. visited him the next day with my parents because they suggested it. but i was kinda of tired because i had done the reshuffling of my room till like 4am on monday nite.. and tue morning it was still moving and shifting.. for people who dunoo.. yes.. my sister is getting married! 21dec =) congrats!

i forgot what i did on wed n thurs but yea to fri i went to meet joan pong wx and sokpeng to watch chiwahwa! yesyesyes i love that show. super cute. i love dogs but i don't dare to be near them. i scare that they will bite me. so i wish that all dogs will freeze upon seeing me. the idea of dogs is detering me from wanting to go for the MI gathering on 13dec. coz luciuos has got 2 dogs and both are quite hyper=(

that's the only day for the entire week i was out.. but of coz on sat there was alicia and swee leng bdae party.. alicia's bdae was cooll.. fabulous.. it was different from normal chalet and stuff. we were under dressed coz she said it was semi-formal but most of her friends came in dress. rather all. hahas.. there was many dance going on. latin.salsa.rumba. it just totally make me feel like learning one of those.but to reach that standard i guess years of hardwork is required. most of the friends are from the same dance club as her hence they are able to have dance p.k. was cooll..

on sunday spend studying . hai.. i miss my friendS!

finally i thought this 24 nov will be my paper yet i got the dates mixed up . its 25 nov-.-! one more day of suffering i thought. hahas but i finally finished it today. but nevertheless on more paper on the coming monday. which is horrible because fri- sun my sister has her batam side wedding. haiz. .kns! so many things.. her wedding sacrfice my paper..

confession

2008-11-12T06:38:00.000-08:00

i made my confession to u while your asleep. a fact that i have been keeping to myself. its been hurting me for long without u taking note how impt that is to me. i know you care for me just that you are not good at expressing yourself. i think you must be hurt now because the prob that is keeping us apart is something that you can't control. you're used to me telling you what i want but i really don't know how to solve this. this is why i have been faking that this prob is alright and i can forget it. to me its just a form of betrayal. nevertheless, i felt better after telling him. when people are hurt, they tend to talk rubbish and say things that will hurt each other more. why?

been raining the whole day, sort of balance my mood a little. work at central the entire day is good as it keeps my mind away from things. thanks my fren, ng jie long! for chasing the wolves away =)

a nursery rhythm that i got the lyrics all wrong. - ba ba black sheep.

my version :
ba ba black sheep have u any wolves?
yes sir yes sir, 3 black wolves,
1 for my master , 1 for my slave and 1 for the lil gal who cries in the day

exact version:
ba ba black sheep, have u any WOOL
yes sir yes sir, 3 BAG FULL
1 for my master, 1 for my dame, and 1 for the lil BOY who LIVES DOWN THE LANE!

i want it to be WOLVES! sounds nicer.. this discovery made me laugh the entire night b4 bed. thank you for laughing at me but it helps in my sleep thou.. hahahs

2008-11-11T04:51:00.000-08:00

argh! so must for trying to just show concern. what are u thinking ass! i just wanna be there, i don't mind u treating me bad but must u talk like an idiot? " don't want to be in possession of anything that remind me of u " i know u don't want to be upset. neither do i want to be ma. stupid wu liao.. er xin ! y y y must i behave this way.

xiaoqi keeps me thinking.

being with the one u love is more impt? or being with the one that can make u happy? does it matters if the one that can make u happy isn't the one u love?

the one u love, the one who love u , the one whom u love n he loves u. all this is smth that we have been thinking when we were younger. in the past we would all say find the one who loves u ! den more xing fu. but in reality.. most girl will chose the one they loves most.

miracles will happen if you never give up.set your goal and go all the way for it!

my goal is to be happy! but is it possible to ignore other ppl feeling

i want to be with u but i need to convince myself to be able to make myself happy. i need to regain the strength within myself to stay through. i can't keep expecting things from u coz i will be a form of trouble to u for sure. i m troublesome. i know it.

should i be saying all this? wouldn't tt make him upset.

tears of rain

2008-11-11T02:04:00.000-08:00

i wanna have mocha ice blended, long john silvers', movie dates, traveling trips!

took a very deep breathe. wonder how should i go about typing it out. the url was out of my mind for a few weeks. it took me a while to think what is the url. i found 3 articles, just be seeing the title makes me feel like crying. everything about him seems to trigger my emotion.

memories that came to me the day that i see you, no matter how i hated jan 20, i remembered it. i think i am the meanest girl on earth. i shouldn't have lead u on in the way u think i did, when i am not ready to just focus my full attention to u. i don't deny that i've been trying to move on. all i just want is to be happy and smile everyday. i am sorry that it is built on your unhappiness. i don't know what else do i have to say to make u feel better. i'm here for u no matter who i am with. i don't know if our paths will ever cross, but i want to know a new you. the old u evoke different feelings in me. misunderstanding in your blog, no trust in my actions, its all my bad. i shouldn't be contradicting and i should be clear to u . about the past, there isn't much to say, but i am glad u finally know what i really wanted to hear. thanks.

i miss ya
i am not hopeless.
STUDY !!!! what the hell am i thinking man..

wrong exam!

2008-11-10T03:04:00.001-08:00

look at the pict w xiaoqi holding a flower. whahas!

argh * woke up today was wondering why are my classmates asking me about CB exam? continued to study for odtw till 5 plus only to realize that i really studied the wrong exam ? =( but it seems hard to change to cb right now. hahas so maybe tmr i shall start on cb question.!

i want a blender to make milkshakes! i make the best milkshake. hahas. stupid jerome u will regret it. hpm! boring programs at 7pm. channel 8 is showing ten brotherS!? wth is tt stupid show. don't they have other prog. channel 5 sux too- the making of quantum of solace.

munwei uploaded all the picts on facebook, looking at it now. i could sense the happiness in all of us that day. its like no exam stress, no r/s prob just the few of us. happily ever after . =)

click on photos to see full version

2008-11-09T01:45:00.000-08:00

2008-11-09T01:20:00.000-08:00

bad week!

2008-11-09T01:04:00.000-08:00

happy bdae to xiaoqi n munwei..pict are on their way!

last fri i went out with siewfong!

celebrated xiaoqi bdae with deanne at holland village on wed? we ate at the nydc and headed to coffee club for cakes session. its acutally very stupid to have all girls parties esp with all the louds ones. the entire place seems to be filled with only our voices and we were retarded with the camera?! took many different poses for millions time man.

on thurs, met with leslie ,jere, and munwei to go get this adidas jacket. i wanted buy one for myself too man. siewfong! hahas xmas present pls lols :X i hope munwei loves his jacket. we walked up and down city hall area just to look for it. went kbox to sing and guess wad.. on fri, it the official celebration at khatib bottleneck village. the food was nice and we went to partyworld after dinner. i bet munwei spend alot on his bdae givings treats and stuff.hmm maybe chalet would have been cheaper. hahas. everyone came except caifa but his presence could be felt still as everyone seems to have a little influence from him--- being crazy. hahas. esp leslie! i got tricked by them like usual . i think i m always dumb when i am with them. kor still think that its interesting.wth. but at least now lakeside is not near khatib and ktahib is not near jurong. =/=

i love them man. took a lot of candid shot.. guess wad i think that all of us are ageing. the songs we sing are like super oldies. ( ai wo bei zuo, xing bu liao qing, ben xiao hai) wth. hahas. but it is fun to grow up along with them. there were many crap conversation like leslie's way of pronouncing stadium as stadLIUM. planes that is not aeroplane, totally nonsense. but happy =)

sat is a nice day to slack at home, reading notes , studying. after that went for photoshoot with my family and i felt weird. wearing a tube is horrible, having to put make up makes it worst. haven't got a look at the protrait yet but hopefully it will turns out well enough. went to watch 007 in the night but i think the show is quite bad. i don't understand it at all . hahas. perhaps i am to tired to think.

sun- bad day. i m sry.

now i am trying to upload 119 pictures to everyone!

sometimes, all i need is a little respect 1st.

if u are serious about someone, u should be prepared to be hurt.

happy bdae munwei!

2008-11-04T08:08:00.000-08:00

clinging on to the past, whether things are done right or wrong. i've never regretted it and no one can put a judge to the actions. i know i do care deeply. love is never a fair game to start with,

i wished for u to be there, but timing played a part to it. its never just the 2 of us. why is

it just so hard to be forget everything and start all over.

playing.. studying.. anything that takes my mind off u ..

i do ..

friends

2008-11-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

i am not here to change things or to complain ! =X

i have many grps of friends leslie and ppl, peishan and ppl, benson and ppl, polymates clique, sec girls, pri friends. pls know that at any times in my life, as long as your belong to this grp of people, pls know that i am there and no matter when u need me i am there. things may change after years, conversation maybe different and the time to meet maybe lesser too. but i am still me, still who i am. what i really need at times is the basic, respect. i don't like to feel that i am neglected. i have to admit sometimes i will be jealous of news friends that came into your lives, but i am not kicking up any fuss or trying to be demanding. i just hope that you guys can notice that i am growing up, i have my views on things and some --ve attitude that i had could be changed as times passes by.

had a lil prob with leslie and munwei ytd, i dunno where to start to to say. but i know what leslie meant when he said that i got too serious with their conversation . i don't wanna this to end up bad, but the sms that u last sent did hurt me in a way.

its just sad that the guy whom knows me well, bother to spend times listening to me is now finding it hard to communicate to me and feels that i am throwing unneccessary thantrum. esp the guys that i had hang out with for many years, perhaps i am really dumb to know when your are joking but it all matters to be because i take your seriously.

i love you people. i don't wanna feel that tension between me and u people. ure may not feel it and think that other girls are not acting this way but sometimes, all i needed is to just whin and to cfm that i am still impt even though i know that u people cared for me. i really know. i know its not possible to change how things are because its normal. since i am the one changing maybe i should be adapting to it. i promise to start appreciating all my friends now, i maybe be bad in the past hahas.

was at benson house playing mj today with weiliang,eileen and eric. i lost $6.50 =( hahas. but was fun because it had been a while since i played mahjong. wining and losing doens't really matter what matters is being together =) eric has been a bit weird or maybe his back to his normal self. but i just don't feel that his the same. maybe its just me. went out to meet jessie today with darren, i've talk to her about leslie and people things. i am glad that she hasn't changed. she would still spend time listening and trying to understand me for who i am now and not judge me by the past me and give good advices. i think this is what friends meant to me =) i love u girl! hahas. took great picts today.

i love u.

2008-10-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

why do people form expectation and get hurt by it?

haven't got time to study this week, =( not because i am lazy. i was busy helping my mummy at the office. i saw my sister result today, she got 2nd class honours and this is going to be my aim for my degree too. in a way, it acts as a pressure to me. i am not sure if i am capable to get that result? must it be maintain b y all As or Bs? ( siewfong give me an ans ) i've regained the mood to get my piano training on track so shouldn't be too bad.. something feels lacking. what have i not done? sry to my frens if i hadn't had time to msg u guys that often. its not because your are forgotten its mainly because i hardly had time for myself. =)) suddenly i appreciate being single.

ytd was my first day job at esplanade, it was nerve wrecking. i didn't had a clue what was i supposed to do and not do, where to stand, when to move and who to report. but it was fun and slack hahas. i love playing with walky talky. =) its my ah ma bdae ytd too.. went to have dinner with my family at the usual steamboat at mt faber. later on,jerome came to pick me with allan and we went exploring henderson waves, its pretty and cooling there at night. its a nice place to sit there and chat.

※雨淋湿了天空

毁得很讲究

你说你不懂

(我)为何在这时牵手

我晒干了沉默

悔得很冲动

就算这是做错

也只是怕错过

在一起叫　梦

分开了叫　痛

是不是说没有做完的梦最痛

迷路的后果

我能承受

这最后的出口

在爱过了才有

＃能不能给我一首歌的时间

紧紧地把那拥抱变成永远

在我的怀里你不用害怕失眠

如果你想忘记我也能失忆

能不能给我一首歌的时间

把故事听到最后才说再见

你送我的眼泪

让它留在雨天

越过你划的线我定了勇气　

的终点

＃ Repeat (※) ＃

你说我不该不该

不该在这时候说了我爱你

要怎么证明我没有说谎的力气

请告诉我

那暂停算不算放弃

我只有一天的回忆

Repeat ＃

你说我不该不该

不该在这时说了爱你

要怎么证明我没力气

告诉我暂停算不算放弃

我说我不该不该

不该在这时才说爱你

要怎么证明我没有力气

我只有一天的回忆

the entire week

2008-10-26T06:16:00.000-07:00

well hadn't had time to blog the entire week. not much to say as well. things seems much quieter as compared to the previous week. but it was nice, finally had time for my revision,pianos and rest. i enjoyed sleeping,eating and sleeping once again =) never really had to think where should i go and stuff. was actually looking forward to the park connector on sat but kelvin had to stay in camp! =( but well hope his feeling better now from all the medical terms that he had explained to me. i was stuck outside my place on tue once again! like consecutively weeks huh. but this time was worst, no money and phone getting low batt what's worst is that my neighbbour totally ignored my presence outside as if it seems like normal thing in total. went to meet ferlin at bugis and had dinner together with jerome at central. its a bad day from my memories. i just never like the idea of making decision when the day just seems totally bad.

met joshua on wednesday for movie- 20th century boys and kfc and shopping at ikea. yum yum..nice show n food hasn't had kfc for a long time.love shopping at ikea was looking through and i love this display =) left joshua early and felt guilty, some weird msgs and feelings past through me that day. i'm sorry for what had happened. i had always thought why could 2 person who likes each other yet they cant be together, it shouldn't happen. but now i totally understand how it could be. on the same day i met leslie and kienleong for dinner at night, kien drove from marina sq to singapore flyer how dumb can that be but because leslie was too lazy to walk. its been a super long time since such combination had occurred. kien looks the same as usual but i couldn't really describe his change in him. but well.. his not a very safe driver at times cause his quite dumb with routes.

wasn't quite sure what happen then after but ytd was great. went shopping + praying session with ferlin and sweeleng.its been sometime since i stepped into far east because i don't really do shopping hahas. got myself a pretty dress i think. ferlin keeps complaining being hungry and feels like puking, making all of us think that she's really pregnant. hahas. sokpeng wanted to hang out at night so i called jerome along to watch night in rodanthe. its a touching show. i cried.she cried.he was red i guess. hahas. must watch . its more of the actions than the plot that is touching =)

my playground

2008-10-20T08:28:00.000-07:00

bring me on a merry go round..

interesting playground. a place where ure childhood memories will be revived..
my foot prints..

thanks guys! =)

2008-10-19T07:40:00.000-07:00

happy bdaE! =)

2008-10-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

been busy celebrating my bdae this entire week. mum's been nagging at me to pack my room and come home early but it seems hard. i enjoyed the week of celebration with all my friends =) thx for those who had wished me and those who had made effort and got me a gift. all the present i recieved are wonderful and i deeply appreciate it. thou i may not sseems to show enough concern day to day to each individual, pls note that you guys are impt to me. esp leslie and gang of people. i may seems busy but i am not !so if anyone needs a listening ear, try me out hahas. i shall upload the pict from all the celebrations when i have time to do so.

today: celebrate w polymates
woke up in the early morning expecting everyone to be late hahas so me and ferlin agreed on 930 timing when we knew that its going to be meeting at 10am. we went sentosa and all of us got ourselves burn,red,tanned in many ways. but thx god its not that horrible as compared to the last horrible tanned that we had. sentosa changed alot and i am sure to be back and try out the activities provided. esp song of the sea. i had never been there! =( everyone came except prissy becoz she was sick so well.. after that we went town with all 7 people squeeze in the jazz.we were lucky to leave at the time that it was going to rain. after that me sp joan and kl went to watch burn after the reading. its a STUPID MOVIE pls do not watch it. the entire show seems to be more of a "what the fuck" show. every 5 min seems to have that phrase and no one understood. this combination is the first time we had for watching a movie, i enjoyed the companionship of all girls because all of us were v 38 and we gossiped and show concern to everyone we know. hahas. after the movie we went to mac at ps. tooks alot of pict the entire day and i missed them right now ! thou supposedly to meet allan and guys after the things but somethings screwed up somewhere and stupid dickson showed attitude by not answering or reply my msg. i hate that! but ya now he tells me that becoz he was having crab. but still.. show some respect to the person by at least replying saying smth at least. don just assume.

oh thx ferlin n wx for making cake castle and the wallet from joan!hahas
fri: celebrate with benson n guys
went to school in the day and got present from my classmates. but was quite silly of them to get 2 scheduler diary for me hahas it makes it harder for me to chose esp when i have 3 books now to chose. in the evening, benson and eric came to funan and we went bugis to shop for my present. got myself a guess wallet. thx benson weiliang and sally for sharing it! i love the wallet. i really loved it =) n of coz eric contribution of $1 to the wallet as well hahas.. jr u owe me a present! well well after that headed to cini to meet the rest thou its supposedly to just be benson,weiliang,eric,jr but there we go friends plus friends, it end up to be 9 guys and 1 girls thingy. its weird becoz its not really like a bdae cleberation thingy but more of a movie gathering session. but still i enjoyed it thou the show maxpayne is abit lame. the movie ended at about 2am and jerome fetch me back. so its like the 6 times in a week that i met him. thx! if i am not wrong there seems to be a fight going on at cini ytd so enlighten me if anyone knows anything hahas

thurs : MY ACUTAL BDAE!
yes.. finally it was my 20th bdae. i guessed i must start cultivating myself to become a woman. joshua came to my house early and i was glad he did that, after all, i want to be like a queen on my bdae. =) we went to ms,suntec and bugis to shop around to see if i could get any present. but couldn't managed to make up my mind. thx joshua for the treat and the time was well spent =)hugs.!
after that went to meet ming and benson. thx for the dinner treat,the surprise bdae cake and flyer treat and everything that u treated me that day! i do felt like a princess=") it was a memorable experience for me as it was my virgin ride on the flyer. i was kinda scare at the start but things went well after we were heading down. after that experience, other heights seems to be normal to me now. i think its jus a matter of overcoming the fear in u . after the ride, the duty free shop has this straw bag that caught my attention and the salesgirl told me that it was only available at that place so impulsely i got it ! thx joshua for sponsoring it. hahas immediately i msg him so that he could pay for that somehow . hahas. later on, i walked home from the flyer. explored many new route and we were walking on the F1 track. sounds rather cool ya? after that met jerome and he drove me to korkor's hse to get my presnet. guess what,the travel bag they got me was the one i saw with joshua at topman and was thinking of getting it. but they got it for me, and the scraf was nicely designed too =)while on the way back, jerome gave me a few surprises becoz i had never knew him as someone surprising. he hide present ard his car and present seems never ending to me. i love the cap esp! =) i wore it to sentosa today as well.. oh yea! thx tianming for the necklace too. its was nice and pretty= )

wed: celebrate with sec.girls.
oh my god. ! its been long since i can get all the girls out at the same time. so well i was excited. we went taka to have dinner at pasta cafe while waiting for the late kangli as usual and the food there seems quite alright. my sister was admited to hospital and so siewfong was nice, she got me a cake in case i won't be having it at my house. THX!! xiaojie can read !? i m priasing u ! after that we went to my place to having cake sesssion again becoz my mum said that she had the cake ready. was a pretty cozy cleberation different from how celebration are held outside. siewfong got me a jade and it was kinda small, i was trying hard to squeeze it in. i hadn't managed to do so till now. the rest of the presnet i haven't opened it up yet. gekhui was lazy! but she treated me dinner =) i am glad coz i had a very full and sumptous dinner . after that they all left at about 11 and i was quite sad and sian becoz i had to be at home, but lucky i got siewfong with me. i know she will be there for me somehow. jr was nice! he called me and ask me out. so i went ahead with it. edwin came to pick me up with jr and we went to hougang to play pool. the first person to call me to wish me was jerome n joshua. but acc. to my watch both are late. but its the thought that count. i enjoyed it with jr edwin and siewfong! i didn't expect that this would be the combination that i am counting down my bdae with. deeply appreciated esp when i am not close w jr he actually bothered. ben n eric came along as eric passed me a merry go round display thingy. its classy and elegant in a way. i love it and i was playing with it when i was in ed's car. was scolded by jr for causing irritation whhas.. thx eric!

tue: with les and gang
yes! finally i get to meet them up at first i was thinking that gosh it would be weird seeing them again.like i had mention in my blog earlier on but after that the feeling was gone when i met them at esplanade. was at esplande coz i had to do fitting for my work, thx brandon for giving me a scarf for my bdae =) it was sweet of him after all we weren't friends for long! thx thx.. so yupp with jeremy,rena,munwei,amy,caifa we went lau pat sat and coffee club near raffles area. we walked and walked and chat and chat. it was fun as it felt like the past whereby i could just speak loudly and i just love arguing with caifa and be smarter than munwei. hahas. caifa thought us some agree and disagree game was fun but quite brain taxing and its not good for mE! we order many food and yupp i am glad we went lau pat sat so my bdae seems like diff experience.i love the session at one fullerton whereby we sat and chit chat about how we are doing and stuff. stupid leslie call me shiteye. i think so. so its dumb dumb. but i was guilty that i forgot leslie had a elder brother. i am sorry leslie! hahas.

yupp guessed that's about all.. its too long. hahas. thx everyone for creating such a nice day for me =) thou minor hipcups do occur but i am glad to have all of u!

Nights OUt- 4 days!

2008-10-12T02:24:00.000-07:00

finally, someone had chalet again and i managed to get permission to stay out from home. which means i can get to reach home after day-break. so it was exciting for me and i wanted to meet as many people as i can! it was joan's celebrating her 21st bdae. from her looks, i figured out that she should have an enjoyable bdae party. was happy for her to receieve so many present and that she likes the bikini that i bought her. was quite tiring sat for me as i had woke up ard 8am to swim and went cycling with ferlin ( she's cool, she wore a skirt to cycle salute! ) and help out at the bbq thing and spend on whole morning till about 6 i reached home. ( thx eric for waiting and waking ! and ensurely my friends were safe home too! )

swimming was great, got some tanned color on me and cycling was fun becoz it was very windy. been long since i met the all the polymates at the same time. finally passed weixiang his bdae present and glad he likes it too. kailin was present with her bf ! and i realize that she got happier. she was glowing with happiness.

went to meet caifa,jeremy,chunleong,amy and munwei since they were also attending seng's bdae.at that point of that i was suppose to meet them, i was thrilled and excited coz i missed them. but after meeting them, i felt abit weird. things weren't the same or rather maybe i had changed. i felt left out and its hard for me to mingle in. i don't know when they are lying to me as usual but they said they were gg taiwan and if i wanted to go they can add a tix. it makes me feel shitty. but ya smiled. when we were having mini conversation, it makes me realize that everything they knew about me was when i was "little" , i doubt they knew the present me. it was quite sad to hear things like they are second and i cast them aside, other's more impt etc.. i mean they had and will always be the priority its just that i think i have grown up or maybe because i don't know how to ask them out like old times. even for bdae, i also will feel that its pointless to keep my big day for them. its no longer the crazy me where will call them and tell them about myself. i m a girl, sometimes i need people to ask me about it as well. is that a gd or bad thing acutally?

we did talked about my bdae celebration date as well.. i am sry to siewfong! becoz they had wanted to make it on wed and i actually had that thought of cancelling the outing with my girls. but yea.. luckily we settled on tue. so means.. i can still celebrate with siewfong!! =) hahas. so countdown for me yea? hahas.. coz usually my mum will get the cake at home. maybe this time round it would be my girls' sharing that cake with me. if my mum do remember..

0-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------0
on fri, i went vivo to celebrate my bdae and liying's bdae with the MI people. it was nice seeing all of them. alicia,shaowei,jeslin,lucius,peishan,liying,jerome and lucius' gf. thx my darling peishan to organize them and i liked my present from all of them! =) played some stupid game called the "thumb" game. loser were suppose to kiss someone , somehow. it started with me kissing liying. hahas phew.. peishan was the only person spared in the entire game. not fair! becoz sw, me , ly, jerome,alicia got it somehow. Jerome came to find me at about 3am when i was at the chalet, he told me smth and it weird becoz we've been in our current status throughout 3-4 years. maybe things will work out somehow, someday. i am bit confused.

joshua msg me to let me know that he might not make it for my bdae. talked to sweeleng and sokpeng about it during the chalet. so many things that we chatted. from e to jerome to joshua. they said that somewhere in my heart i will have joshua. y m i related to all the J's.

got dickson msg asking me out to celebrate the oct babies bdae. deeply appreciated that! was nice of him. at least makes me feel good. hahas

stupid dad! just told me to on the radio and they are talking about how to make short people looks taller! i guess i had better study nw!

7 more days ~

2008-10-09T04:52:00.000-07:00

indeed its 7 more days to my bdae but i am getting weird feelings about it . not excitement but nervousness and his no longer there. everything seems different. but i want present! hahas.

there has been many things that i wanna blog about but certain things just seems harder for me to type it out. i dunno if i am handling all my relationship alrights. been talking to e quite a lot recently, i don't know if its fair. ianw.. does it really matter if a person dress well or not? but i think things should just flow naturally. i found out a big secret in my class scandal.. there's so much to talk about. i am looking forward to school everyday now. i wanna know how things would turn out to be.

went to watch eagle with benson and eric ytd. not too bad a movie. was like exciting all the way. ttmr will be meeting peishan and guys to celebrate my earlie bdae.shall get my mood started=)

"what does it really mean when his the one"

so much to be done..

2008-10-06T03:04:00.000-07:00

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=55011&l=244bf&id=624185784

went over to batam during the weekend. it was sudden and kelvin and darren! i am so sry to really at the last min notify. i was already like on my way to kallang mrt so that i can go and cycle with them but my mum called and said that she was really serious about me going to batam. so i had to cancel. but i was already in the train by then. since i need lunch, i called benson and eric out to eat. nice delifrance meal =) thx.. batam was fun at the very least this time i finally stayed at hotel again. the view from the room was magnificent and the sunrise was simply amazing. what could be nicer than waking up and there was a balcony view of the sunrise. went to pray as well and the advice was, pay attention to nth except studies. so well i guess its right and time for me to wake up and start my engine going.. shalln't slack further.. but this idea is spoiling my bdae mooD!

came back ytd and realize that my homework consist of 12 essay qn has yet to be completeD! told myself that i should do it like today, but right now.. still only 1 qn has been completed. hahas.. i am really getting lazy.rotting. but at least i played the piano.. phew~ less guilt over here.

to edward ! happy bdae ( 7oct)

Photos of fireworks =)

2008-10-03T09:56:00.000-07:00

yes it kinda take long but yes i finally got it ! =)

www.flickr.com/photos/andrewtjs

My bdae is 2 more weeks!
met weiliang,benson and eric for movie at tamp today for the house bunny. its simply hilarious! go catch it on theatre. hahas. i was laughing non-stop. its acutally a good movies for girls' night out thou. i shall go to sleep now. hahas.

Danga Bay

2008-10-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

a daY trip to JB, we went shopping and i still can't find shoes that fit my foot.. maybe one day i should take a pict of my feet. after shopping we found this place =) a place that brings back childhood memories. what a great day to celebrate happy children's day ..

TUTU TRAIN~
FERRIS WHEEL
SISTER AND HER BF
KAIKAI HENG HENG FAMILY!
TWIST =) A GOOD DAY FOR CHILDREN'S DAY

BEAR BEAR KNOWS HOW TO STUDY!
THE LONG LONG CUPCAKES !
ANYONE LIKES THIS TOP? LEAVE A MSG =)
MY CLASSMATES =)

A new week

2008-09-30T21:53:00.000-07:00

YES ! HAPPY CHILDRENS' DAY! 1st of oct meaning there's 15 more days to my bdae! =)) can i have more prezzie? hahas.. i had tuition ytd and my kid was like teacher its children day, so i when yes.. so.. he said.. can i have a liquid paper pls? only 1 dollar very cheap one. whahas. so damn cute man. i mean at our age people usually asked for bears,clothings,shoes,wallet or even toddlers ask for toys hahas i have never yet come across liquid paper. but he shall be granted for his wish. lols.

supposedly to meet my classmates to study at kallang mac however, decided to go out and play. met joan at chinatown station and while waiting for her i tried coffee bean vanilla ice blended, its taste is far behind that of a starbucks frap. we went shopping for my shoes and there was this uncle who is very nice asked me to go down to his factory to custom-made my shoes. he said that it would cost less than 45 dollar. sounds great for a pair of custom made shoes. so i think iwill head down to the factory maybe on thurs or fri since its a holiday today. after that, we went to meet pong at heeren! gosh heeren changed so much more restaurant so i guess next time i shall try them out. we had ljs for dinner and i saw my classmates! hahas. caught in action for being lazy. embaraasing.. hahas. bought tix fo the show my best friend girls. comment: not very nice. becoz i doubt i had really understood what msg they are trying to pass across. too dirty jokes? or my eng simply sux. was raining super heavily nice weather too bad i didn't had my big umbrella with me. hahas.

went to slack at burger king while waiting for our movie timing. pong told me about his love life and the lang man things he did. yet it wasn't reciprocrated. oh my mama.. if some guy actually did what he did i guess i will just marry him. hahas.

after the movie, jerome came to pick me up. Million thanks jerome !BIG HUGS =)) best friend man. hahas

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i told him i will blog his romantic actions and here it goes. hahas. but #1 you have to be blessed with good luck when you do such stuff.

1. he got a nice bottle and a nice box and he placed 300 or 600 stars in it. the bottle and the box is the one that captures my attention man.

2. 1sunflower and 16roses as the person is celebrating 17th bdae. he got someone to hold the cake as well and when the bdae person turns around, there's flower and the fireworks just nice exploded at the back ground. gosh.. this got me!! how lucky can he get the timing right man. i wanna that.. hahas

3.brought the bdae fellow up to mt faber with 200 candles forming a double heart. wow! but the fellow run away . gosh shouldn't it be a stunned stunned moment?

okiies.. that's bout it that i remember. he will carry on feeding me with his idea. OMG!

CUTE

2008-09-28T08:28:00.001-07:00

birthday is coming!

2008-09-28T00:42:00.000-07:00

yes.. going to oct. which means my bdae is coming, along with joan and guang liang. 16 oct the good thing is i get to meet up and get present the bad thing is.. i m not going have the age starting with number 1. so can start to ask me out :P hehez..

fri was bit screwed up for me. was raining heavily, and my paper broke, so it was quite messy for me. esp having to talk on the phone at the same time. went lunch with my classmates and e came along la. hahas. supposedly to meet kelvin after my piano to return his hammock but along the way came flu and j's emotional state. so i went to meet j after my piano. it was a weird feeling meeting him esp after the things he told me about. though i had to act like it was nth i am cool about him making use of me in a way. it just feel weird when people say it to u. i wonder if he being nice is a natural thing or his just cheating me forever la. best friend maybe the case but it just feel weird.

sat met up with peishan and ferlin and ps fren i think its huifang. we went sengkang for a swim. it was fun. the sun was good the pool was nice. during the swim had long chat with ferlin. it makes me wonder.. why are we getting more practical. this conversation brought up by peishan when she said " it's better to have someone who drives" hahas. oh no! are we all turnning older now that this matters? liying and jerome met us later for movie. it was very stupid. we were like about to pay for the movie ticket at ps we decided to go cathay. was quite embarrassing but v fun. so we went cathay and there was this angmoh in front of us whose v irritating he turn behind and ask us to keep quiet. claiming that we were noisy. wth. hahas. embarassed but with ly and ps it just seems much more hilarious! whahahs. we watched painted skin. me and ly was so close to each other during the movie at certain parts man. its was kinda freaky. hahas. poor jerome was sneezing away..

he went back to get his car and we went on a long journey.. when i reach home it was about 230 ? oh yea.. thanks jerome for the ajisen treat ! =)) ming sent me an mms of a drawing, it was kinda nice because no one had done that before. but jiu shi wrong la..

joshua just came to my house like a few min ago. he came to pass me my stuff. as his moving house so there were some books of mine that he needs to clear i guess. but nice seeing him thou it was weird because on my side it seems like i wanna talk to him more but his like rushing away to meet his friend. well. well...

River Festival

2008-09-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

http://www.thecentral.com.sg/home/index.aspx?key=happenings-riverfestival
just saw the news. gosh i should have make my way to central today! argh* they really transported people eh. i tot my daddy was kidding me about it. shouldn't have make my way to buy mos burger. should have headed down to central man =( sobs..! but anw.. so i check up the central web see if there are any more chances to see it. NO! but just to share the river festival is a good show. was watching it last week. the part about dragon dance. if u have the time check it out!

http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Singapore/Story/A1Story20080924-89825.html
my fav milk! the milk scandal seems to be getting bigger man. more and more products seems to be tainted. i guess for now its best to just avoid all the product from china. hahas. starting to anti them man. unscrupulous merchants!

i did a good deed today!

Cherish =)

2008-09-24T06:42:00.000-07:00

www.cherish.com.sg

i just realize that this website has gotten a new face. still remember a few years back when yiyang did up the site for me it wasn't like that. today in school i was thinking maybe its time for me to take up some responsiblity to the biz and maybe the first step is to handle the website. to my surprise it has changed man. heard from my sister is was done up by weihua ( ex senior ) the picture he took looks beautiful..

today class was bit screwed up.i was on my way at town taking bus to sch and adrain called me to inform me that class has changed to the campus at dohby ghaut. well lucky i was still around the area so not too bad for me. supposedly to be late for class int he end i was the first to reach.many took a longer time to reach so the lecture was more of a sharing session of ideas. some of my classmates were looking at setting up biz for bubbletea cafe, poolhall and me of coz starting thinking how can i help to expand or grow cherish. ? honestly, other than helping to increase sales, which is what i am good at, other mgt or admin stuff doesn't seems to be my forte.i shall spend time looking at ways to boost sales as well as fundings matter.

most importantly! guys i need ure support! help to spread CHERISH around. i mean the clothes don't look awful, they are mainly what you see on me. think about this brand when u know your girlfriends are shopping for clothes =))

ME!

2008-09-23T05:09:00.000-07:00

si siewfong! how can u wu hui me. =( so upset.. thanks goodness she asked me ytd regarding the pict took at sista island. I WASN'T HUGGING HIM. there isn't a need for me to explain. asked E and J to look at the pictures, there comment seems normal. a thinking strike me at that time, find someone who can understand your actions or will find ways to understand it than someone u need to explain yourself so much. i think it will be more sweet and there's will be happiness in the relationship. over the weekend, hang around with my classmate for mahjong session and we went for movie- MAMA MIA! omg that show is nice! if u have the time, catch it ! we hang around till about 4 plus and its time for me to go home. however, sokpeng hang around with my friends till about 6? thanks adrain for fetching her home =)) ferlin told me about her outing with Will and Paul, i kinda hate whatever that paul said about us. his an ass! he has no right to doubt who we make friends. i know his showing care and concern to ferlin but.. who doesn't start making friends, knowing them? it depends on how we judge and how we feel comfortable around with friends.

ytd was the last day of my esplanade training, so sooner or later i will start working as a usher. which mean its time to shop for shoes! my small sized shoes, where r u !? when i was on my way to esplanade, i saw some of the F1 racing car models, there are beautiful. how i wish i could watch ! hahas.

i am always feeling uncomfortable when people are nice to me, i get attracted to people who are more less sensitive about my feelings, this is crazy! i should start getting used to people being nice to me instead of losing them.

looking forward to weekends again =)

Pict for sister island

2008-09-19T02:10:00.001-07:00

http://s345.photobucket.com/albums/p383/ferinsan/sista%20island%2013-14%20sep08/

2008-09-19T02:10:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a busy day, had to go for tuition and esplanade. brandon picked me up at my house and when he drop me at esplanade i thought that he had lesson with me. but it is not! hahas he got school at sim. gosh.. make me so paiseh. made him go through erp and stuff just to fetch me. his very nice to even insist that he will fetch me back like according to plan. but i rejected cause it is really very weird to make him come all the way to fetch me again. the lesson at esplanade today was fun as it was about security.we had many role plays session and its scary to think if it really happen to me when i am on duty. joshua.k came back from msia and text me, we went out for supper after my lesson and yupp wanted to eat at old airport road in the end, we had macdonald's instead. reach home like 11 plus, it was nice chatting with him because his view is very different and he had very different perspective. i think it will be nice to ask him for opinion if i had met with any prob.

went to school today, i was up earlie and i made myself smell very nice. i was very happy. hahas. back to my morning person mood =)) this time round adrian was late for class hahas. we drove to heeren to have lunch with the rest . after lunch,he drove me home. later i think i got to go chalet? hahas not very sure yet..

2008-09-17T23:13:00.002-07:00

didn't blog for 2 days? or 1? not very sure.. try taking the test

http://www.mypersonality.info/personality-types/ its quite fun =0

exchanged a few sms with joshua and his going malaysia for work. his wrk seems to required lots of traveling. ferlin is now headache over william issue whahs quite excited to see what will be followed up. that all updated about the camp? haven't got photos from the alumuni club either..

sch has been piling up more with research readings and tutorials. its fun as it starts to make my brain moving and i enjoyed that =") money is never enuff! gosh.. when joan called me this morning to tell me about her prob , only than i realize that hmm.. maybe i should really start saving up and spend less. i don't spend on clothings or what but its mainly on entertainment and food. shall cut that down! bad morning started on for me as the freaking bus made me waited for like half hour or so for it and i was so so late for school. i never like the feeling of rushing in the money. it just drain my energy level. so didn't really chat much with my classmates and isolated myself from lunch outing. i think its better for me to stay home after school..got to go tuition and esplanade training later. lucky, brandon said he will pick me up so i guess it won't be so rush for me. sometimes.. its good to have friends' initiating to pick u up. hahas. but of coz.. traveling on public transport its still more lang man hahas

met up with benson and eric ytd for lunch and movie- step brothers. its quite funny and at the back the last part when he was singing is quite touching i guess.. ming suggested to bring me to school and fetch me home from sch hahas. its a nice gesture but let's see if it will happen la. hahas eric's bad suggestion.. evill...

2008-09-17T23:13:00.001-07:00

2008-09-15T02:14:00.000-07:00

came back ytd from sista island camp. so sister island is spilt into 2 and its literally called big island and small island. we were camping at the big sister island. it was fun and i was the only one man standing through the night. i am v proud to say that because i really never had so much fun before and i was to excited to sleep that i went round disturbing every single people that is sleeping. the group of alumni include joshua, william, bernard, marcus, and a few saa people. was fun to chat with them and of coz i took alot of silly pict with ferlin. i never knew that i will talk to people at the age of 27 28 29 kind. i always think of them as old people. but its different perspective that i get when i talk to them. i will strive harD! =) the views of the sea , the sun and the moon was amazingly pretty esp at the different timing. were present at the sun set timing and the sky was just too romantic. that the pict took at that hours was all hugging, gay-ing, les-ing and of coz the blue blue sky. rather, its not all blue thou.

all of us were making fun of ferlin and commando and i was link with that joshua in the team. its werid to think that in my entire life i can be easily linked with people named joshua, but well i think there's only one that i will want to be linked with.

had dinner with my family at tanah merah jumbo, the environment there is nice. i ate lots of dishes and was very full. the honeydew sago was nice but it punishment is tummy cramps. hahas. happy birthday dad!

got my mens right after the trip, makes me even more tired to go to school so i skipped it. i look all pale man. woke up like in the afternoon and bought lunch for eric at his station. well he does look better in uniform. hahas. no wonder girls will fall for guys in uniform. i thin i better slp now again. =)

LOST AND FOUND

2008-09-12T08:06:00.001-07:00

i found my sunglass! yes damn happy.. shall now concentrate looking for my thumbdrive. going for camp tmr. pretty excited. i am in a room that has no fan or aircon, damn freaking hot. went to taka to eat today at ambush for pasta. its quite nice =) had piano lesson again and meet kelvin for dinner. Thank you ! for the hammock !!! alrights.. blog soon

ups and down

2008-09-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEIXIANG!

been thinking through last night, why do i tear upon leaving his place. joan told me today that is it dissapointment or is it old memories. had a very nice sleep yesterday night guess it was because i was so tired walking here and there yesterday just to get dinner and because i had a nice hot bathe.

went to school today , teacher mentioned about labrador park! a park that i had always been wanted to visit since i was in secondary. still remember back then, i asked leslie to bring me go. hahas. till now, i still haven't seen how that park look like. but i know bus 408 goes there. maybe one day i shall explore all the park in singapore.went to vivo with my classmates. hang around until about 130 went to meet dickson,edward and allan for lunch at white dog cafe as well as movie.

the service @ vivo city GV SUX! the stupid man at the counter was so freaking damn rude. for a nc16 show, he wanted to check the 3 of our ic. i didn't bring and he refuses me with poor bad lousy attitude. damn F* up! angry..argh.. make me seems like the culprit that bars them from the movie. so we bought tix for my sassy girl instead and decided to crash cinemas since the show timings are quite near. by luck, we walk into other cinema number just to try out and allan went to ask someone what show are they going to watch. and its BANGKOK DANGEROUS! so we sneak it and got ourself seated. it was kind of a experience for us and we were all scare and guilty for a few min. but after the show started, we got ourselves comfortable. hahas. glad we did that cause its was real fun and the show is worth it. action pack movie.

today is kind of long day, went to meet joan after my movie at about 7 at bugis. supposedly to get prissy present but that shop doesn't carry that design that prissy wanted. we intended to join wx and his fren to celebrate his bdae, but they just starting eating at about 8 plus so we gave that idea out. some guy sort of "stalk "me without me knowing while have dinner at long john. when i was waiting for bus a guy, a bit potato kind came fwd and say his been noticing me and wanted my number. i refused. damn.. maybe should have at least tell him my name.whahas. but it kinda make me happy at least i know, i am not that bad after all. whahas!

2008-09-09T06:55:00.000-07:00

sch went well today, finally used some of my brains and got myself familarize with the text as all the question requires me to flip here and flip there. whahas. everyone still seems a bit weird but it turns out to be a silly prank which i had no idea who started it. went for tuition and my kid ask "teacher, y u have pimple me and jiejie don't have" haiz.. make me so sad. and he added " ure nose pimple looks like deer " he was refering to rudoff.. wth.. hahas i guess i was nice enough not to punish him by giving hiim lotsa of homework. omG! went over to joshua's place to get the camp stuff from him, his sick but still able to shout. lol. THANKS~

all the thanks you!

2008-09-08T08:50:00.000-07:00

adrian my classmate msg me ytd about vitamin pills and he really got one bottle of vitamin c for me today. i was quite surprise i mean usually people don't bother about making me well not even people who likes me. so i guess being a age gap of 4 years do makes a different in one person mentality? though eugene did bothered once by offering panadol some years back in the days when i was in secondary. really appreciated that esp its chewable and good for my skin too been wanting to find one that is nice and well just nice.. no one offers to lent me their haversack except leslie! thank you =)) but i have called up joshua and ask him for the bag and etc stuff this afternoon. now i need hammock? lols. so thank joshua as well! and of coz my beloved jeremy bro who wanted to lent me his ex's adidas bag -.- LOL!

it rained heavily as i was on my way back from the esplanade training again. brandon offers a ride back home as he is staying in sengkang, that mad guy drives around everyday, isn't it expensive? whahahs! so mean. Thanks him for suggesting a ride back as well ! i mix with a girl called shanshan, pretty lady and i think i can communicate with her better as well.

2008-09-07T08:06:00.000-07:00

went over to batam on saturday, wanted to shop for shoes but sadly again searched high and low there isn't any shoes that fits me unless shoes for the kids. don't deny that their design is nice but the color is always like blue and pink. too colorful for me. been sneezing until my nose is red and i can forsee that pimple is going to grow on that spot. hahas. pray hard that it doesnt. pls*** will be going camp this sat, does anyone has any big haversack to lent? pls volunteer! hahas or tell me who has it. did some homework today at china square, felt like the days when i was in secondary school or at least poly year 1. nice feeling thou. went foot massage after that with my mummy, its rather painful but very comfortable. bit ironic but yupp.. tt is what u get for foot massage.

happy birthday dickson!

2008-09-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

hey happy bdae to u boy!

to him :i will take care of myself. i won't not be like what you say i am actually doing. but thanks for your concern. it could be better if you phrase it with a sweeter tone.

started on homework today, got very tired and my comprehensive level is either getting low or because i did not use my brain for a long while. but the idea of studying seems much better than drinking and staying out late. met my classmates at blabbers again.

after that went to piano as usual and went to central to meet my mum. the lightings and program held at central by the media is great. it really attract huge crowd and their program is kinda of interesting as well. my dad says he will get me a pair of shoes, but sadly, as always, its so hard to just get a size 3.5. argh! n all the salesgirls are always reluctant to believe when i say hi can u get me the smallest size u have. they always give me the common size 5. for what? waste their time having to go back in and look for another pair. -.- shop around and saw very nice cupcakes and decided to buy them. i think tmr i will one shot upload all my pict that i have taken man! its piling up hahas.

2008-09-04T00:18:00.000-07:00

sneeze sneeze sneeze. stupid moronic pig.- ME!

went out ytd to watch WALL-E, its a nice show. i would rather have a robot as my bf if he can be as serious as WALL-E. ytd was a hetic day, been msg-ing people the whole day here and there juts to confirm who is meeting later. many things happen and its quite irritating but lucky things went out fine. didn't went to club but instead went to pub called studio eighteen @ keong saik street? the place smells like salon. hahas. drank quite a bit, don't know y but i seems to gulp it down. in the end suffers from the after effect. Eric drove to pick me up with benson, his kinda sweet as he prepared a mineral water bottle for me. the first time that i drink i kept feeling to vomit. argh* uncomfortable feeling.

woke up and got a slight headache. i swear to myself now, i am never going to let him affect me in my behaviour. this thing got to stop. i can't always go out till late night drink and stuff. crazy man. he won't bother. its like i deserve all this as i bring it upon myself. got to start doting myself, i am not going to go out late for the next week. !!! drink more liang cha.. hahas

Memories

2008-09-02T02:28:00.000-07:00

Was talking to kienleong about our past relationship thingy last sunday? it's kind of interesting because, sometimes somethings are not said during the relationship and its also hard to say after break up. i am glad that after a few years since we broke off, now i am able to talk to him about all this. its really funny, heartwarming. i guess its always more sweet and innocent when the relationship is at a younger age. indeed, it brings back memories but it shall remain thereafter. lim kien leong! if u ever read this post, THANKS YOU! hahas. i am glad that both of us realize we were both meanies hahas. will i ever be talking to joshua like that again? will it take as many years as me and kl took?

monday woke up at 1? when i am suppose to meet my classmates at bugis. was too tired. i guess i really needed much more rest. went to meet there at nlb but it was too crowded so we went to strand hotel - babbler's cafe to study. crazy bunch of people but yes we finally did get our work done. will be seeing them tmr again for movies hahas.

today is tue already and my flu isn't getting much better. i think i am suffering from heatiness? i water and fruits doesn't seems to help much. tmr still have to go clubbing to celebrate prissy's bdae. anyone wanna be nice and volunteer to fetch me and my friends home? hahas

SUNDAY

2008-08-31T08:45:00.000-07:00

ADD ONS: Siewfong went to watch fireworks with me as well on the 23rd of august. :P

met up with peishan laopo, liying,shaowei and jerome to watch kallang roar for free. thank shaowei! this show is intersting as it talks about singapore football. i think its meaningful and its a movie that shows appreciation for the coaches.

at this very instance, i don't feel quite happy. maybe its because i missed the fireworks today, maybe because i didn't attend the lights ceremony for the lantern festival ( visit central, chinses garden )or maybe its because of msges. we haven't been talking for long, come to think of it, it might be a good thing because of his heartless behaviour, it makes it clearer for me and to move on easier? i don't ever want to fall in love with anyone else. it isn't something proud for me to say how many exs i have. its shows how many times i failed.

lock my heart up, steer away from r/s, so that i won't be hurt anymore.

lazy sat

2008-08-31T08:39:00.000-07:00

well i think because i went back home late on fridays, and sat morning it was raining, it makes me feel good lazing around my bed.supposed to meet sokpeng, jiang zhe ming ( joshua) and kelvin sis, but in the end, sokpeng overslept. i love the rain and the feeling of being in an umbrella hoho. we watched forgetting sarah marshal. its quite a nice show though it has quite a bit of RA contents. but if u just focus on the meaning of the show basically, what i could figure out was - to forget your ex, get a new love. hahas. quite stupid logic thou.

agreed to meet jr and his friends to play pool @ hougang but because there were some minor isuse, ended up eric came to join me and my friends. played pool for like the first time in about 1 year or so? quite enjoy the process as it's been long and i lost touch of it. lucky, i didn't meet jr n frens if not i would have been thrashed. ever since the break up, i never liked going home. i don't like to be alone. fri and sat seems like a late night event thingy for me. i don't like that.

eric called benson to pick us up and blah blah.. in the end we went hougang 401 to eat/drink water. hahas. chat with eric alot about the past concerning, weiliang,benson, him and me. its kind of interesting to know that he hates me b4. nice talking to him. at the v least, he makes me think that my break up isn't as worst as his. reach home at 4am? yet i had to wake up like 11 am today.

2008-08-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

went to school as usual, brought them to central to shop as well as to eat. first time i ate japanese food at a very nice setting. the food isn't very expensive like what i had imagine thou. but forgot the restaurant's name already. there's a lot of places in mind that i want to visit, i am suppose to complete it with him, hai.. now we are like strangers. " 最熟悉的陌生人”i think i know what it stands for by now. pyschoed sindy to bought a dress from my shop and went back home to sleep. i really needed a rest. after the break up, i think i've been trying to keep myself out late and later. its kinda strainful to my body i guess. i am getting heaty. cough, sore throat never fails to haunt me each time.

went to piano class alone. i think i am getting use to it already. even b4 the break up i also go piano alone and meet random friends after that. was trying to find people to go out with me, didn't like the idea of going home on friday. same was sokpeng. so we decided to ahng out together and swee leng came along. she treated me to fish and co. thank you! but i think tt makes my cough worsen in a way? lucky, i managed to get myself dated out on a saturday. when will this ever stop?

prettty umbrella

2008-08-28T05:20:00.000-07:00

i brought umbrella to school =) hahahs. After class head off to raffles city to eat mos burger. after that my face went red.. only siewfong knows the reason. lol. tmr is a free day ! let's go out. hahas.

hope you are fine =)

baby 1st month

2008-08-27T07:51:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to Low Rou Ting. the new member of my family. i think she's gona be very tall as her limbs are pretty long. should be a pretty lady when she grows up because she got a "ting" in her name too. her name in chinese characters are nice but when it comes to english, its a bit hard to pronounce man.

to all the august baby friends of mine : Eric Low, Cai Li Ting, Gek Hui, Priscillia Happy Birthday too =)

still have problems with my throat. and i believe that the rain has made in worst for me. been sneezing the entire day. sobx. to him :hope that after you visit the specialist, he made good comments for u. update me about it someway, someday that you wish. been days, since we chatted, read your blog, your command of english is good. whahahs! please bring along umbrella everywhere u guys go man, be extra careful when you are wearing slippers as i witness 2 falls today. School workload is coming in, more stress more work. next week is going to be a sch break, but i still have school work commitments. Eager for next wed to come by.

sorry, if i did give u the wrong intention

2008-08-26T08:30:00.001-07:00

didn't bring books to school, got drench in the rain, sore throat, drank millions of water still not well, played mahjong, won 21 dollar =) yuppie to u : i m not toot, went vivo to have asian kitchen, finally back home . i missed home. i am so tired. its all written on my face. nitez

2008-08-25T07:29:00.001-07:00

what will be, will be. what am i hanging on?

start my heart beating once again, and leave me alone. i hate myself for being undecisive, i dislike myself for the things i do. only fool will think that as time goes by, things will be better. how long will that eventually be?

met someone like him today.

2008-08-24T23:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a great day. it rained like the entire day. i was sleeping so nicely except the fact that my dad inist that i wake up and not to rot at home. i think he is crazy. i go out, he complain i go out, i stay home, he chase me out. ask me to go out with friends. -.- wonder that exactly is he thinking? i was thinking who shall i call but luckily, jerome msg me and ask me out for dinner. well, that also saves me to look for people to go out. THANKS! hahas.

went out with him to have dinner at xin wang, it quite nice of him to come out while he was limping. hahas. he injured his knee while he was running the marathon that i don't know but it seems like most people is running for it too. while, chatting i realize he had got his license in july- the unintentionally lie. hahas. if u are reading this. *HPM* basket. lols. don't show off. later on he send me to kallang mrt while i meet my parents for movie. 12 lotus, its super boring. i wanted to sleep man. stupid show. got a msg from HIM, but i don't know why there's no reply after that. hai..

today i went to ikea to eat with my classmate, my first time to dine at ikea. i didn't try meatballs but the spagethii isn't that bad thou =) sore throat -.- hate that. i wonder why am i always getting that.maybe i should start talking less. whahahs.. damn it.

no more fireworks

2008-08-23T09:01:00.000-07:00

add on for yesterday: thanks shaowei for "sending" me home. whahhas.. peishan i love u ! you promised to marry me. ferlin thanks for "pei" me. paul " thanks for answering all my question.

it rained the whole day. it makes my mood better. though people are like complaining that the rain is affecting their movements, but i simply love them. met kailin, joan at parkway parade. our initial plans was to go east coast to cycle first and only go for the rmt gathering. but since it was raining, we decided that we shall just marina square. there, we meet ferlin. everywhere we go, we see friends and so was like hi's and bye's.. in the evening timing, met deanne, andrew ( her fren ),gekhui, benson,jianrong,weiliang,weiliang new gf, edwin for the fireworks. don'treally know if they could click but once again THANKS FOR WATCHING THE FIREWORKS WITH ME! IT'S BRILLLIANT.! i love u guys! =P i promise that the next time i date your for fireworks, we will have dinner first - to stop your from nagging too . hahas. oh ya SRY WEILIANG! i forgot to call u. damn u too. sounded so freaking fierce over the phone. make me so scare. well.. i always hated anyone to talk to me louder than their usual tone. so.. was kinda pissed to. but my fault so..

we went there at about 820 ? i was super gan chiong because i wanted a good view. i mean i bring so many friends along as well, of course i couldn't get them to watch at a view whereby its blocked. of course, i wanted a good view myself =) had fun ! cheers. today fireworks was nice. there's is really always something special for every fireworks there is and will be a difference.

went for dinner @ swensens and head home. msged jerome and told him about the fireworks. poor him have to stay in camp. hahas. i wonder if u had fun @ flyer, haven't been talking anyways.

oh dear, had milk shake float @ nite, now i am suffering from it .=(

Day 1 of fireworks

2008-08-22T09:11:00.001-07:00

indeed, fireworks is the other way to make myself feel more refreshed and happier. started off with a bad dream in the morning, woke up crying and felt a bit scare.can't really remmber what i had dreamt. need a hug,but " take care" is all i get. thank sister kelvin for calling. i don't understand why do i cry when i have bad dream. can't i just get bad dreams?

went off to central and get food for siewfong first, then, it rained heavily. so i had to carry an umbrella off to piano. yes.. excited about the fireworks. went to meet peishan,shaowei,ferlin and paul and head off to esplanade to get the best view. luckily today rained, there were lesser crowd than usual thou. peishan's friends came to join us as well and the fireworks were nice. i had the best view on the bridge being the first in line by the railings. =) today fireworks were colorful. i love them. its not boring, it not something that its the same over and over again.

thanks all of them for the company. it was wonderful and it made the fireworks even nicer =) will update the pict after tmr's fireworks =)

Sing your way home

2008-08-21T05:23:00.000-07:00

whahas had an interesting class today. i always like this subject. thou its about organization behaviour.. it can easily be related to life scenario. after class, darren suggested that we go sing kbox. i was abit reluctant, cause i am not feeling rich recently. but the rest were like peer pressure. hahas. we went to ljs at clementi with quite a few of us. but in the end.. only left 4 of us. -.- angie had to go out with her bf to celebrate their anni. darren face kinda weird when he saw angie and her bf. i think that guy is irritating but nice in his own ways la. but uhm.. complicated triangle.

i got lost while i went out to the toilet. the kbox man was like bringing me around to find my room. instead i found munwei in a room. hahahs.. and after that see him everywhere. had fun singing. the first time i am with a grp of people tt are really so crazy. their energy level is like full forever. lols.

爱太深

2008-08-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

u showed me your blog. i think u show me n tell me now because its your personal thing. u wanted me to understand how u feel. is it because u wanna tell me its time to move on because we don't fit?

i read your blog. i can't help but think that u changed because u were already tired of me. i know u tried. but i can't stop myself from feeling sad that u had thought of a break up then. are we blinded because we were tired?

i just want to let u know that everyone has its way of loving someone. the amt of love i gave may not be the most to u but i am sure i had used up every love i had.but perhaps it isn't what u want..

maybe i shouldn't have read the blog. maybe u should have suggested the break up earlier on. its ure private post. i don't blame u. but i can't stop myself from being upset. sry. i know this break up is last le. i won't anyhow think le. i will jiayou to make u be my fren.

drugged by love. everything from u, thou i can't agree. i will find +ve ideas

so tired..

2008-08-20T03:59:00.000-07:00

its either i am trying to keep myself super busy or i am really enjoying the life i have now. but come to think of it, the life i am leading now isn't much different from the past 2 weeks. every morning attend class and attend training at time. keeps my mind of the break up. so i think will be fine although yupp i will miss him. but which freak can manage to forget things so fast?

after class today, went to play badminton. cool man.. i beat all of them. well.. most of it also because they keep hitting out.OUT! while playing the game, it is the only moment whereby i truly had nothing on my mind except enjoy, entertain and win. whahash.. hahaas. after that i went ahead to teach tuition. gosh.. the kid is really horrible.i spend most of my time screaming at him. bad boy!

i msg him last nite about the anni thingy. he replied. i was kinda of happy. thou question if he was asleep has been flashing, i asked but he never reply anymore. i know he won't anyway. he said that " it just not the same as how he countdown last time". has he moved on? hahas.. it ends tonight, it ends tonight. finding someone u can't live without is something that requires big big ability, as it its painful.

" make her smile, its the greatest moment in my life"

20.08.2008

2008-08-19T08:51:00.000-07:00

Counting down alone. feeling more upset. 1 year 7mth? But August is also the month that i know him for the very first time. he used to tell me the date so i guess i know him for 2 year plus by now? STAY HAPPY =) the SURPRISE i've been waiting is perhaps this. the greatest upset.

Wait till 20.09.2009

Eric's bdae

2008-08-19T08:05:00.001-07:00

heys.. i am so sorry.. i didn't know that last sat was to celebration yr bdae in advance. opps * i snatched all ure attention and i didn't mean to weep man..

DATE ME

2008-08-19T07:53:00.000-07:00

Love Theory- Mine

1. always support and respect each other
2. never abandon another in times of needs
3. agree to allow disagreement, respect all views
4. always take a time out in bad times
5. always communicate at all times
6. have passion and fun in the relationship =)
7. as long as i get to see u, everything else is worth sacrificing.

what is an exception today, will be a norm for tomorrow.

I finally figured out that i didn't break up with him because of the girl, not because of the prob we had, but the attitude that we both are giving each other. i msged him to tell him this but he didn't reply i know he won't but i hope that if he ever read this post, i don't want us to end hating each other. things that i said that might have hurt u i am sorry. i might have been harsh and hated u @ the moment, but come to think of it, " we hug in diff ways" teacher says its difference in perception ( marketing ) .

Hope you are fine, i don't regret loving u the way i had.

to all my friends, i am going to be fine. its not any of our fault. we just had our different ways that we chose to love each other. ( i grow up in my thinking right ? ) many tells me that his not for me or his not good enough for me. i know its just all words of concern. but i believe, i know what is going on. i just need you guys to be there to keep my mind of this matter. i really don't know if we will end up back together but i know i will not get myself involved with others soon. 2 years ! hahas

been having training at night this few days, i guess it a good form of distraction. date me for fireworks ! n everyday! next week is school holiday for me. its a 1 week break.. so i will be super free.. keep me entertain :P

My beliefs

2008-08-18T02:03:00.000-07:00

"in every relationship there's alway problems, deep within the problems lies the solution"

that's y i always voice out, its not because i want to create problems for u and me. i'm stubborn but i don't mean to create "prob"

trust,commitment

2008-08-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

i think our relationship lack of that.

we've broken up. don't feel like talking about this thing ever again.

i'm sorry for the things that i might have said to hurt u. but i've never regret being with u regardless bad or postive memories. i've think alot last night, asking alot of people for opinion, i guess none of us were at fault. i think i can figure out how u think.

like u say that u had been holding back to this idea and will agree to it, i really hope that you will be much happier now.

i will be fine, just no more 20 08 2008 or 20 09 2009, no more bdae surprises ha ha. haiz.

2008-08-17T05:45:00.001-07:00

pict took at anchor point the other time @ mickey mouse cafe
Macdonald's @ clementi with my new classmates
being with friends thinking that u will be happy,may be a wrong way. i had never wanted to ride a bike like how u blame me. it was just pure fetching as he stayed nearest to me.

singing helps, as all the songs seems to be singin about me

being out in the noon should be must better

2008-08-17T05:29:00.000-07:00

what happened?

2008-08-17T04:26:00.001-07:00

i thought that a good way to enjoy myself and make myself happier is to go out with my friends. i wonder if that is right or wrong. went out with kelvin and joshua(jiang zhe ming) whahhas! and ferlin at first to watch love guru. its really funny. i haven't seen myself laughing so much whil ein the movies. after that went to pepper lunch at lido. yumyum.. maybe i was hungry i managed to finish all. and there was a new friend that came along. his name is ke rui. his plump but he is super cute. wanted to hang out with them a while more but i got to rush and meet benson they all. kelvin send me to pasir ris and we had a long chat over the train journey. it made me feel like crying but i managed to stop myself from doing that.

met benson,weiliang,eric,jianrong and tianming. was suppose to go to fisherman to drink! to all! fisherman is open. so stop telling me its not hahs. coz i got photos to say it. met new friends as well.. sally,jeremy,edwiin and another couple. fisherman has a very nice view and i cried in front of all of them. shrugs* didn't expect that. everyone seems shocked but i was glad to know that at least there are people that cares for me =) and eric i am sorry hahas, i didn't know it was suppose to be your pre bdae celebration lols.! we ordered some drinks and took a few pict. weiliang got new gf le! really hope that he can be happy and happier! jr suggested that we go sing and i was ok with it. i mean i'd rather be out than at home.i won't be able to sleep every night and i also will just end up crying isn't it better to have company of my friends?i wanna hug of u guys ytd man.

tianming asked me to ride his bike. i was very reluctant but well.. the rest all have to squeeze into the other 2 car so i went along. i was very scarem because the journey is going to be long and he changed his bike to a sports bike. my 2nd time. =S but it well fine.. i am still alive ! sang k , cried, chat with leslie and jerome on the phone. thanks guys! i hope i can be better. until about 5 plus reach home at 545 am. thought that i will be able to sleep straight away but i couldn't. i know i am abit fan jian. in the end i still msged him. hai.. i know he cares, but he only know how to blame that i think too much, but he nevver bother how i feel. he ask me can i not think too much and what i want. he has been repeating all this. but all this happen because he has no actions to it. he only know how to say he still love me. it feels like he wanna just settle the prob quickly. we had never met since the prob started. how to settle it. leslie suggestesd that if i love him, its either i just forget it and get back together with him or i should just bear with it. i want to . but can i?? can i really don't bother if he pamper me o not?

won't that ill-treat myself. i want to find back myself! where's the liting i once knew. why do i keep crying. i don't think i had cried in front of so many people b4 for any relationship prob. his out today. i am feeling very uneasy. he had never properly say that he never regret being with me and that he don't like her anymore. i hate all the two timers, physically or mentally or even think for a wee bit seconds.

to peishan! we talked for a few hours today. i know u r suffering because of the jerk. but since ure feeling better le. don't think back k !

silly people thinking:
"i would rather u break out with my because i won't hate u for it. and i know i won't be so upset than i were to break with u because i know u will blame me. "

happy fridayss!

2008-08-15T08:26:00.000-07:00

i hope to be a big star!
doesn't it feels nice?
came across this @ esplanade i love it!

found this interesting.. looks like a big lizard! hahas

yeah.. its has come to the end of the week again. sch has been great. i made new friends again. =)next thurs we agree to play badminton and i look forward to that.

to all my friends, me and him haven't take much changes but i am glad i told him the lie that i have been keeping to myself for many months. a lie that makes me unsecure. although i very much would like to hear from him that the lie doesn't matter at all, i am more impt or something like that or like even w/o the lie, he would still be with me. but nah.. he couldn't. all he could say was like its past le don't harp on it. wouldn't that make me feel worst ? hmm..

tmr will be fun i suppose.. finally get to meet kelvin and his gay ( joshua) lols.. love guru here we come !

to my beloved peishan! - don't give up in love =) move on, don't be too sad. all guys are jerk!

Busy thurs

2008-08-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

been busy the whole day. finished my previous post. i am happy to annouce that my class size increased again! hahas.. n i had my 1st class outing - to the mac that i had always wanted to go since young. and also.. i have made new friends. they are all very nice people. and it seems that my clique sorta of formed to be become: angie, adrian, davis, sindy, and this "french" guy( darren) hahas..

i will upload the picts soon enough to keep that memories within me. =) went to esplanade for my training took picts again with great view of the singapore flyer from the gallery. i look forward to the time that i will finally get to usher someone. its takes great knowledge and skills to do that thou. amanada and qing xiong are like my partners for esplanade. they are from the same uni and they seems to get closer today hahas. hope they get together =P

i figured out.. i like to be with people. i like to interact, to talk and to be controlled at the lowest level. what could be happier than mixing with friends and people whom i love?

Just for you

2008-08-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

i am not going to blog about my bad r/s anymore.

THANK YOU !

to all my friends whom show me extra concern like jerome and ferlin.

to him. i appreciate you trying hard to strike conversation ytd, esp when u ask me what will i be doing this sat thou it could be better if its asking me more about what i will be doing. I like the idea when u propose that we shall go back to lives few weeks b4. but i stopped. there's a prob. even u know that within this few weeks, u've changed. i don't know if the reason u tell me is true - u said no reason -.-. but i figure out that i shouldn't tell u i am agreeable.

because, to just solve the problem just like that , it wouldn't change the root of the prob. we've been facing this prob many times. Each time, we just try to faster find a way and go on with the life. i don't ever want to face this prob again. i'd rather be sad now all the way than to once again keep feeling hurt as the same prob arises. as usually.. we argued after that. i don't want either of us to be unhappy anymore. esp u. u said that i am the cause of the stress given to u and me because i think too much. its hurts ya.

i seriously don't know how long this thing will drag. but.. someone told me.

" if u lack of passion in doing something, take a break off from it " i think its pretty meaningful. if a person lost its passion towards something, he/she will just get irritated at the slightest manner and will say stupid things to hurt someone they don't intend. but if u have the passion toward something, u will go all out without being told to just make it works, make someone smile. its comes from the heart.

i hope that we both can find back the passion that we once had. 初恋的感觉。。。